All Because Of You (Manthony)

•Chapter 9•

Mitchel's POV

Ever since I was a kid, my goal in life was to do something special.

I wanted to make my parents proud. Our success as a band created that feeling. My mum and dad didn't always agree with our songs do what we sang or things we chose to participen in, but they were still proud. 

Being nominated for an award from a really huge music award industry, opened many many more doors for us. I wasn't sure if myself or anyone else understood that. I was beyond excited to perform Numb To The Feeling. It was a song that came from a place of hurt and a constant feeling of hopelessness. It gave me the opportunity to talk about my feelings in ways I couldn't with others, even if I wanted to. I knew it was dirty and talked about drugs, but that's what made it better. 

My thought process was based off of my feelings for Christian. Honestly, it surprised me that he hadn't noticed that himself. Everything was confusing to me. Making it difficult to make a decision or recognise what my problem was. 

I started blaming Alexa for everything. In my eyes she was an easy target. She didn't deserve it, and deep down I knew that. We became the bestest of friends when we first met. We never had any interest in one another which made it easier to talk to one another about anything and everything. One day she told me she was starting to have feelings for my best friend and I panicked.

I didn't have a doubt in my mind that she had an inkling about my feelings for Christian. I made it obvious to her. Hoping she would back off but she didn't. I assumed that on top of treating her like shit, she didn't like it. I became good at hiding my feelings. Using girls to numb the pain and abusing drugs. Eventually it would become too much and I would drink until I couldn't remember my own name. Which is what I attempted to do the night of our party. It was finally becoming so clear that Christian loved Alexa that I couldn't deal with the amount of hurt I had hid. I wanted to figure out a way to let the feelings subside but they never did since I see Christian every day of my life.

"Hey man, wanna go out with Pat, Clinton and I?" Jesse shifts from one foot to the other. Looking around my room and the mess it suddenly became. I blink a few times realizing my eyes were burning from staring off into space for a solid 10 minutes without blinking. I nod, getting up to grab my phone before quickly putting my shoes on.

"Where are we going?" I ask. He shrugs. Walking towards the front door where Pat and Clinton where standing waiting for us.

"Wow!" I exclaim dramatically. "Pat's here? What's the occasion?" I joke. He ignores my petty comment. Continuing tot all to my brother. I silently watch as Pat and Jesse argue about where we were going to eat. It reminded me of when Christian and I would argue over who was driving whenever we hung out.

"I'm driving." Pat states as he attempts to grab the keys from Clinton. I stand there in shock at how I was just thinking about this very moment but with Christian.

"Uh, no. I have the keys." Clinton retorts sassily. I smile and sneak up behind him. Jesse winks and I quickly grab the keys before running to his car and jumping in.

"You bitch." Pat and Clinton say at the same time. Jesse and I laugh hysterically while Pat and Clinton climb into the back.

"Let's listen to something BTS," Pat says. I look in my rear view mirror. Pat intently staring out the window.

"What the fuck," Jesse mutters. Taking his fancy sunglasses. Turning around to give Pat a disapproving look. Pat shrugs once he notices all of us were staring. I make a weird face but search them up and find a popular song called Fake Love. It begins to play, one of the band members coming through the speakers in the car.