Steel Skeleton

In The Mountains, There You Feel Free

 It seemed another week passed, and no progress was made. Gavin grew awfully disheartened. He found himself in such a state of awful frustration. He was eating everything he had to, and he wasn't exercising. He was still somehow unable to make progress.

He had stopped losing weight, which he found was progress, and he had more energy than before. He was able to walk more, and he thought maybe he could spin.

Obviously they would say no everytime he asked. He had to start gaining weight to spin in his wheel, or train at all.

6:15 am.

Gavin heard his alarm for the morning weigh-ins. They were so awfully early, but it seemed nothing new.

He rubbed his face with his hand in an attempt to wake himself, and then pushed himself off of the bed. He was awfully cold, as per usual, so he grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped himself in it. It was a typical inpatient thing; he noticed.

He walked to the room where he was told to be, and waited by the front door until his name was called. He walked inside to the small room. It was almost like a chamber of fate, as the weight seemed to be everything to the nurses.

"How do you feel this morning?" Kate; his nurse stated. He shrugged. He didn't feel awful, not anymore, not as he once did. It wasn't great, but nothing was great.

"Fine, I'm not as tired." He stated. Kate had started examining his nail beds. They were still blue, but not as terribly as they had been. His body had started to work again, just a bit.

"You definitely look better than last week, and even yesterday. She stated, and then turned the scale on. Gavin found that loud beeping noise annoying, and it was also sort of unnerving. His whole day seemed to come down to it; even now.

"Hop on." Kate stated, and so he got up and walked over. He took a deep breath and stepped on, backwards, as one does. He wasn't allowed to see his weight yet.

"You've put on two pounds. I thought the day would never come." Kate stated, and Gavin found the breath of suspense he was holding to release. He was able to spin. He had finally made some upward progress, and not the progress to a lower weight. He found a smile creep across his face.

"Really?" He said, there was almost excitement in his voice, but he found more relief to be heard. It was odd to be excited over gaining weight, after he spent years of his life dying to lose weight, and every pound lost was a new success.

Every pound gained was a little death.

Except now he was completely able to train again, and for two straight hours a night. He remained the same with food, and somehow the tube was still relevant. He wasn't sure how yet. It was assumedly if he would start losing again.

He wasn't sure, and he didn't want to really know.

Gavin got off of the scale and he put his blanket back on.

"This means you are allowed to train today, but the meal plan remains at 4500 for you, until get closer to 110." Kate stated, and Gavin nodded as he walked out of the room. He was ecstatic, but also just terribly tired, so he decided to just sleep for an extra hour, until the alarm for the true morning woke him up again.

He got up with more energy and got himself dressed. He was almost excited for breakfast. He would never be excited for food; not even binging and purging sessions, at least not by the end. He was usually just miserable.

Gavin grabbed his tray, which was full of the usual food. It was very much the exact same, and he just accepted it. He sat down at the usual spot.