Beyond Appearances

Old Cholo

A/N: I struggle to write from his POV, but I tried my hardest. Hopefully it explains enough for you to fully grasp Johnny.

Johnny's POV

What could Mariana have possibly wanted with Veronica? I know that Valentina told her about us spending time together, but it's been ages since we've been together.

It's been even longer since we saw each other as more than just sex partners. Younger me loved the whole voluptuous Latin hips, overdone makeup, and skimpy outfits. But now, now that's just trashy, and I hate that my brain even worked like that.

The only good thing out of that relationship was Valentina, my saving grace. But I'm not so sure I'm the one that needs saving anymore. Veronica seems more lost than I am, and for whatever reason I feel a pull to her, to save her. I just feel like Valentina and I could be the ones to do it. More so Val than I.

I walk down the small hallway to her door. She made a little drawing of a pink pony and castle, done in typical Val fashion and hung it on her door. I grab the door handle taking one last peak at my sleeping babygirl. She is the perfect mix of Mariana and I.  I adjust her quilt her abuela made her. Purple and pink just like everything else scattered through my house. One last gentle forehead kiss, and I make my depart.

My head is spinning from the day I just had.  As a father I never know if my choices are right, but I have to go with my gut. Seeing bruises that were fading on my baby girl was not okay. It lit a fire in me I've never felt before. It put me into take down mode like in my past when my gang was seeking revenge on an enemy. I didn't like where it put my head. But who could blame me? She deserved better than what Mar and I had.

I lay in bed thinking about my upbringing. As a kid I got the whole spanking, ear dragging, and whooping that any hood parent would give. Look where it got me though. I promised myself when she was born, she'd be brought up better than Mariana and I. I know little about Mariana's early upbringing, but in her teens, it wasn't ideal.

My mama, did her best, but struggling to feed my sister, Naomi and I took its toll. My sister was older and more responsible, but she was only 2 years older and with my mother working 2 jobs, we were always left  unattended. Living where we lived, we were bound to get into trouble. The ghetto isn't home for the straight laced. I took up being in the gang and doing illegal activities to get by. It's dangerous and I adapted to survive, but in the process of surviving my mama was dying.

The exhaustion from work took its toll. Maybe if she wasn't so fatigued we would've caught the cancer sooner, but I failed her. I was always out, and she was home worrying. Naomi left to actually make something of herself with her scholarships. Ma didn't want to worry her with how she was feeling, but when Naomi came home from college for summer break she knew something wasn't right.

I can still hear Nay screaming at me. "How did you not see? Pull your head out of your ass Johnny! The world doesn't revolve around you!" I dug myself into a hole and got further involved with the gang. I was in my junior year, and that's when Mariana comes into the picture. It was hot and heavy, and she was the first girl I'd actually slept with. Mama didn't raise a whore!

Mariana and I were dumb and foolish, never taking safety precautions. After the first scare, she got on the pill. I mean for 16 year olds we were as in love as it gets. That is until, she cheated on me. It didn't go farther than kissing because I caught it at a party, so I broke it off then and there.

A month later I get the call. "Johnny, baby! I'm pregnant!" She bawls as she tells me. Being 16 and all I didn't let scenarios run through my head like she could've cheated, it's not your kid; instead I immediately went to her. I knew we had relationship problems and that we weren't going to last, but I did know I was going to be there for my baby. I gave up on high school, my street life, and found a construction job.

I remember telling my Mom. She was so happy, for once I didn't see pain behind her eyes. She immediately started on Val's blanket before we even knew it was a girl. She told me, "It's a girl. I can feel it. She going to be my replacement when I leave this earth. She's going to put your ass in place." I thought she was crazy until she proved me right. That's why Valentina is named after her.

As the pregnancy progressed, so did the fighting. Mariana was bulging at the stomach and still flirting. It got to me. I let it go though, just wanting access to my baby, knowing that if I broke it off she wouldn't put my name on he birth certificate, and con some other guy into being the dad. So I put up with it.

As soon as she came out, there was no grace period for the fighting. Mariana wasn't always a bad mom, but as time went on, she cared about Val less and less, and I became nothing but a memory. We were living at Mariana's house, with her parents and 4 siblings. It was always loud, and no one ever was willing to help me with the baby while Mar was gone and I had work.

I got fed up and moved Val and I to my moms while Mar was on a girl's trip to the beach. Naomi helped watch her, and took care of mom while I worked. It worked seamlessly for Mariana's 2 week hiatus. When she came back, all hell broke loose.

She brought some random guy back, and when I wasn't there for her to throw me out from her mom's, she got pissed. Not even worried about Val. The argument got very heated. The guy pulled a knife on me and I lost my shit. I beat the shit out of him and broke Mariana's car in the process. I got stabbed, yet I still went to jail for the car debacle.

As I rotted in a cell, my mother passed away. I beat myself up for never being there for her. She wasted away for years and I was busy being wasted space. It sent me into a depressive state. I decided I just needed to keep my head down and get through my time with no slip ups. My baby girl needed me.

I got out 6 months later. Naomi came and got me and told me about life since I was locked up. From my mom to everything she got about Mariana and Val. The more she told me the more my blood boiled.

Apparently Mariana moved herself and Val in with the prick that stabbed me. She had him raising my baby. I would've still been there had it not been for him, and then to have him take my place killed me.

When I got home I made it my mission to find a job and become stable enough to live on my own and be a primary caregiver to Valentina. I knew I'd probably never get full custody, but it was nice to dream.

That's when I met Trent and Sarah. I saw an ad in the paper for a ranch hand, that lives on site. It was like something out of dream after searching for two months and barely seeing Valentina. I couldn't wait to start.

They saved me. Without them I wouldn't have found any work that would accept me with my background. It was hard and I started to give up, I probably would've went back to my old ways.

I have to tell Veronica about my scars, past, and just everything in between. I know I will in time, but reliving this all in my head makes me want to go back in time and change it, but I wouldn't ever give up Val. She is the one thing I did right this far.