Letters to Eleanor

February 22, 2012

Dear Nellie,

Did I ever tell you that I stole your old hiking backpack?  Well, I did, and you won't believe what I just found. 

A pregnancy test.

Your pregnancy test, Nellie.

It's used and positive.

I was right when I said that you and Tobias had sex. Aha!!!

But wait, you were pregnant before you committed suicide?

You. Were. Pregnant. Oh dear god, Nel.

Does Toby know?

Why didn't you tell me, I'm your fracking sister?!

How long has you been pregnant?

Wait, most importantly, why did you take your life along with the baby's? 

I know you're against abortion, so why did you do this? 

It seems like there's a whole side of your life that we didn't know about.

Oh well, what's done is done.

--

Moving on, Liam and I have covered a lot of ground in the past few days.  We have truly been lucky with the weather being the way that it is.  The blizzard has stopped, but it has snowed lightly.  Of course, we're frozen out of our minds right now, but we have enough supplies and food to last us for three months, so I think we're good. 

We can barely speak when we trudge through the piles of snow.  We try to loose as little warm air and warm feeling in our bodies as possible.

Liam and I occasionally hear a howl to the full moon and slight noises.  Hopefully we will be able to take down a moose with Liam's gun.

Did I even mention he brought a gun?

Well, a lot of modern technology is out of our lives, still, but guns are relatively easy to get our hands on. In fact, the government encourages us to carry one at all times for safety purposes. I don't think they predicted something as insane as this.  

You used to tell me stories about people who dared to live their dreams.  One that always stays in my head is the story of Chris McCandless.  In case if you don't remember, he was a young man, fresh out of high school that decided to leave his life, change his first name, and live life freely.  He traveled around a little bit, trying to make it to his dream destination: Alaska.  When he finally made it, he found an old bus and lived nearly completely off of the wild, even in extreme conditions.  In the end, he ate some potato roots that made him too sick to hunt or gather food, so he died in that old bus days later.  He wasn't even discovered for about a week or two.  

I admire him, personally, but he was kind of crazy for doing that.  Well, now I know how that feels, and I won't eat any plants that I don't know any specifics about (especially potato roots), don't worry. But what he did was insane, but amazing. 

Now that I'm living the way that he did, I can see what made him so happy.  The nature has a way of filling up the empty void that the war has brought.  It's just Liam, me, trees, random animals, and tons of snow.  I've never felt more at peace. The only difference between McCandless and I is that I'm not alone.  I have Liam and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Linking back to the orignal 'Dream' theme, I'm just saying once we reach Canada, I will come back here for sure. I wouldn't miss it for the world. All my life I've craved an adventure, a get away from everyday life, and now that I have it, I feel like I'm at peace.

I don't think I've been happier, ever. 

Right now I'm sitting alone in our tent.  Liam went to go collect some firewood-

Oh my,

I HAVE TO GO.

Kal-