Dogs

5.

JB

Jae and I have been way too distant from each other, I wanted to give him space previously but... was this too much space now?

I was fuming when I saw him with Jackson, my jealousy turning into rage when I saw Jae lean against Jackson. What was it that he can't talk to me? Why him?

I stormed into our room, punching the wall before flopping down on the bed and tugging on my forehead. Why why why.

I was so frustrated that I just shut my eyes, drifting off into a fitful sleep without realising it.

~

I woke in the middle of the night, feeling so disorientated, Jae's warmth at my chest comforting me despite going to sleep annoyed.

I looked down at him sleeping so peacefully, his arm curled up to cup my neck while he rested his head on my shoulder and chest.

Does he know how much he affects me? I would be stuck in the shadows without him, without my sunshine. Why can't I offer that same solace?

~

Jae was distant again when we woke, the two of us moving in sync despite not talking. I felt so hollow without him, aching to grab him into my arms but controlling myself.

We sat apart on our way to the studio, my mood taking a quiet dive as I tried to figure out how I could change for Jae.

I was distracted throughout the day, thinking of everything, endless words turning in lyrics and tunes playing in my head, all of them for Jae.

I sighed, rubbing my face before paying attention to the instructor again, trying to focus on what he was saying. Our instructor gave me a pointed look at that, knowing too well that I wasn't paying attention.

I headed out to buy some coffee during our break, unconsciously buying another cup for Jae. I stared at it for the longest time before deciding to buy drinks for the others as well, not wanting to put pressure on Jae.

I stood there waiting for the other drinks when someone tapped me on the shoulder "Hey".

I nodded at him as he smiled at me, his face oddly familiar.

"Minhyuk here. I met you that time?" Ah... the twat.

"Yeah. Hey. Nice meeting you again but I got to go" I nodded, trying to be polite.

"What's the hurry? I have some things that I would like to talk to you about actually. Regarding... him" he smirked, knowing well that he had my attention now.

The buzzer in my hand vibrated and I turned to collect the drinks, masking my emotions before beckoning at him to a table behind.

"What do you want?" I asked snappily once we sat down.

"There's no need to be so stuffy" he laughed, fishing his phone out of his pocket. I watched him scroll through his phone before turning it to face me.

"I just thought that I ought to show you this. You know, before I go to your company or any reporter..." he smirked, his eyes watching me for my reaction.

I stared at the screen, seeing an old photo of Jae with him, smiling so happily while they laid in bed with their faces pressed together.

The photo was obviously taken by Minhyuk, his other arm wrapped tightly around Jae's neck, holding him towards the camera. Jae was glowing and they were both shirtless... it was obvious what they were probably doing before.

I bit back my jealousy, masking my face well before turning to look at him. Jae looks so happy there... what have I done other than make him cry? He shouldn't be stuck with me...