Tom Holland & Peter Parker Imagines

What We Lost | T.H

Summary: It's been months since your miscarriage and things aren't the same between you and Tom. When you hear him talking to Harrison, your heart breaks all over again.

Words: Around 3k

Warnings: This imagine talks about/has kind of graphic mentions of a miscarriage so please do not read it if you'll be triggered by it in any way. It's mentioned repeatedly and is the entire shape of this one-shot. Once again, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THAT WILL TRIGGER YOU.

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It had only been a matter of months since her passing.

You had always imagined a house filled with laughter and an overwhelming sense of comfort and pure joy. You imagined childish footsteps racing down the hallway at early hours of the morning followed a grown mans and late at night, bathtubs overflowing with bubbles and rubber ducks and the sweet scent of lavender or vanilla.

You imagined a little girls room with butterflies if she was into that or dinosaurs if she preferred Jurassic park. You saw messy sheets and pillows on either side of the floor in case she rolled out in the night– precautions, and you swore you'd pictured Tom tripping on dolls a few times too.

But nothing was ever that easy.

Because your dreams came crumbling down at eleven pm on a Thursday night.

You woke up first with pains in your abdomen, sharp and enough to make you sit up in a concoction of shock and panic. You felt them over again, still trying to process what was happening as another one hit just as fast as the second. Your eyes filled with tears, a shaky hand going to rest on your bump that was currently filling you with all kinds of anxieties.

And then Tom woke up only seconds later, noticing a shift in the mattress and hearing your small cries. He rolled over, eyes squinting as he tried to adjust to the darkness but he surely saw you sitting up and he saw your shaky hands, heard your choked sobs and nothing– nothing could make him forget that night.

The initial feeling was okay and not noticing the extent of the situation he muttered a small 'Go back to sleep, babe'. That was before he heard your much smaller, terrified voice let out a shaky. 'We need to go to the hospital.'

From there you held each other like your lives depended on it whether it was holding hands, having an arm around the other's waist or shoulders or keeping a fistful of his shirt between your fingers. That was for the first twenty-four hours, at least.

No one could've ever guessed that the two of you– admittedly soulmates could fall apart as fast and as hard.

Now, months later Tom was feeling drained, a sullen feeling of sadness and loss still eating away at him from the inside out and admittedly, he felt more than alone.

It was one thing to live with someone, but it was another thing to live with someone that you felt was a ghost. A shadow of what they once were. And for you, it was hard to live with someone that liked to pretend the bad things didn't happen.

"She hasn't really spoken to me about much since... you know, since the baby died." Tom tangles his hands together, staring down at the intertwined fingers. "She only really talks if she's asking if I want any lunch or when I'm coming to bed. Sometimes she says good morning but that's really it."

Harrison hangs onto every word, nodding at his best friends words. "She went through a lot, mate. I can't imagine how painful that would be."

It was painful– in more ways then one. You let out a heavy breath from your place outside the room, deathly grip tightening around the set of freshly cleaned towels. The lemony scent was anything but soothing at that moment.