Over the Edge of Insanity (Thorki AU)

Chapter 39

As we walk onto the porch, Barton frowns "What happened to Loki's face?" I look over to find a big scratch on his cheek. Definately from his face rubbing against the bark of a tree.

"Hit in the face with a twig." Loki lies, before kissing my cheek and declaring "I'm going to grab a shower, I'll see you downstairs?"

I place a tender kiss on his hand, before releasing it "Indeed, you will." once he's gone, I slump back against the railing "I'm exhausted!"

Barton chuckles, before declaring "You two were gone for an hour. Did you go for a dip?" he asks.

"And then some." I grovel and he nods "That was, extraordinary!" I call out and he snickers softly.

"They haven't had sex since Fenris was born." Barton states and his wife looks to me "I noticed the thunderstorm. Was that you..."

"Yes." I nod, before I hear a thump from inside. With a frown, I straighten up and walk into the house to find Loki on the floor "Loki?" I ask, kneeling next to him "Loki!" I smack his face, getting no response.

When he doesn't move, I roar "Banner!" As Banner runs down the stares, I roar "He won't wake up!"

"Okay, I'm going to need you to back away." Banner states and I back away as the others run into the room "Steve, run out to the jet, grab my bag, please."

While he's gone, Natasha whispers something to Banner and he nods. After a moment of checking for a pulse and making sure he's breathing, Steve darts back in.

Moments after he starts checking, he packs his bag "He's completely fine, besides the fact that he's not awake."

"Odinsleep?" I ask and he gives a confused look "Well someone is ill, or close to death, they might slip into Odinsleep." my eyes blur over and I ask "Is he ill? Is this the next three years?"

"No." Banner insists and a weight is lifted from me "He'll wake up in about a hour?" he gives a confused look "Or two." Out of the blue, Loki gasps for air and in a completely different outfit "Or now."

Loki's outfit consists of a well fitting black loincloth, that flows to his knees and rags off. The rim is silver. A black fur shaw covers his shoulder and raggy sleeves cover his arms. A silver bar holds the shaw and runs below his collarbones. His shoes are black fur snow boats. Ice spikes form a crown on top of his head. The blue sits just over his hip bones.

When he remembers were he is, he frowns and looks down at his attire "What the hel am I wearing?"

"I thought you don't work out." Stark remarks, referring to the fact that Loki's porcelain form is rather muscular, despite his slenderness "Seriously, you eat chocolate everyday. How?"

"It's the god effect." I remark and Loki rolls his eyes "But pole dancing fits Loki rather perfectly."

"Oh, Clint told me about that!" Barton's wife states "Do you think you can teach me a few moves, after Nate is born?"

"My pleasure!" Loki smirks, before sitting up "Or might I say, your pleasure, darling." his curly hair falls over his shoulders "After all, S factor is all about the dancer."

Barton frowns "I'm not comfortable with that." He motions between Loki in I "Given what happened while Loki was in Africa."

"Would it help if I was in this form?" Loki asks, transforming into his female self. The only difference is a silver breast plate, and a shorter loincloth. He changes back and adds "Besides, it doesn't just effect Laura!" Loki insists, before smirking "It effects you, as well."

"You sound like a sex jelly commercial." Stark remarks and Loki scoffs, before Stark insists "It's weird."

Loki looks to the Barton couple, before snickering "If either of you decide to pick it up, it will hyperdrive your sex life."

"Really?" Barton asks, a smirk toying at his lips "Because, from the sounds of it, you and Thor haven't done anything since before Fin was born."

Loki furrows his brow "You saw how ginormous his head was. How would I not be concerned about it?"

"I thought you said his head wasn't ginormous." I insist and he rolls his eyes, before standing up.

"Of course it was!" Loki declares, dusting off his loincloth "Now, I no longer feel the need to the need to take a shower."

~

As we lay in darkness, Loki lays on top of me, like a baby. After a long moment, he moves his head from my shoulder and looks down at me. His hair catches on the crown and I smile weakly at him "What's wrong, my trickster?"

"Promise me something." Loki whispers and I hum in confusion "Promise me that, when I'm gone, you will let Fenris be his own person."

"What do you mean?" I ask as I miss with his hair "What's bringing this up, my pet? What troubles you this night?"

He thinks for a second, before biting his cheek "You know that voice in your head, when you were a child? The one that tells you that you'll never be good enough?" I give a short nod and he whispers, careful not to miss a syllable "When I was a child, I called him father."

I think for a second, before understanding and sighing "Loki, I know you hate Odin. I know you do."

"But I don't." Loki shrugs as his eyes go glossy "I've spent so long trying to understand my rage. It's not for Odin." he shakes his head "It's not even for Laufey, or for Thanos, or the Chitari." he nods "It's for myself."

"Loki..." I sigh, before resting my hand on his face "Why do you hate yourself, when I love you so dearly?"

"I'm not a warrior." Loki states, before shaking his head "Yes, I fought in many battles, but not enough to snatch Odin's attention. No matter how hard I tried, he didn't care for me. I wish Fin to never know this rage."

I brush my finger over his lips, before asking "And how will he protect himself from the rage of loosing Zaza?"

"He'll forget me." Loki states, before adding "He won't have the memory to remember me." he shrugs "But he'll remember if Daddy makes him cut his hair in a way he doesn't like, or makes him fight when he wants to learn." he shakes his head "Just let him be himself. No matter how odd."

"I will." I whisper, before kissing his forehead "I promise you, I will." After he lays his head back down, we remain silent, until he starts again.

"I like it here." he whispers and I hum "It's peaceful. That's all I ever wanted." I smile at that and he asks "For my last few years, can we have this peace? Move out into the country? Get away from the noise, and let me spend the remainder of my time with my two special boys?"

"We can do that." I state as my eyesight goes blurry "I'll make pancakes every Sunday. We can sit on the front porch, drinking lemonade as we sit it rockers and watch Fenris running around in the front yard, chasing fireflies."

He hums, before sniffling "When I'm gone, you can stay in the house, or go back to Asgard with Fin."

"Let's not talking about when your gone, okay?" I ask as a tear escapes my lashes. He nods, before I insist "Let's talk about Fenris getting his license, and sneaking in after curfew. You chewing him out for worrying us sick."

"That's never going to happen, Thor." Loki whispers, numbly "In three years, I'll never see you ever again."

"There's always Vanhalla." I state and he shakes his head "All gods go to Vanhalla, Loki. I'll see you there."

"I'm not a god." Loki whispers and I frown "Giants can not be gods. Giants don't go to heaven. They get tossed into the forgotten."

"Don't talk like that!" I whisper and I feel him shrug "Your heritage doesn't mean you're not a god! One is a god, if they're known for a certain reason! You're the god of chaos and mischief."

"My life is chaos." Loki sighs and I scoff, somberly.

"Enough of the touchy-feely, self-help, yoga, crap!" Tony groans, before hissing "I'm trying to sleep! And Capsicle needs his beauty sleep!"

"Gee, thanks, Stark." Steve grovels.