I GOTTA say, the next morning, I woke up feeling pretty awesome. Awesome and the tiniest bit guilty that I felt so awesome. I shouldn’t feel awesome at all, my Mom was having one of her turns and my best friend hated my guts, but somehow, happiness broke through anyway.
Maybe it was just Michael. Even just knowing him made the world a better place. Through Michael, I could see the love in everything.
Or maybe that tapping thing really had worked? We were about to find out!
There she was. Rainey. As I walked up to school, I could see her gangly form draped over the school gate, the slight scoliosis of her back visible through her jumper as she swung back and forth like she was three years old. She looked so cute! Like a long, lanky toddler. And it was true; I wasn’t angry with her at all. I couldn’t even really remember what we fought about now! It was something about something something. Michael and something said something. My brain couldn’t even be bothered trying to remember the story. I bound up to her like a puppy dog, dropping my bag on the way, and threw my arms around her melodramatically, pinning her skinny limbs to her sides.
She stiffened when she realized it was me. I gave her a big smooch awkwardly, just under her chin because she was almost a head taller than me and I couldn’t reach her cheek unless she bent down for me, and she was too shocked or too mad to do either. No mind, I squelched my lips where I could reach and said in a quivering movie-star voice ‘oh my sweet baby doll, let’s never fight again!’ and then I tried to dip her to the side, pretending to kiss her over and over, making strangled ‘mwah mwah mwah’ noises.
She started giggling. ‘Oh dude, off me, OFF ME, yuck yuck yuck, oh man your spit is everywhere, that’s so gross, stop it Jojo, you’re gonna give me what you got.’
‘And what have I got?’ I volleyed back.
‘You got STUPID!!’ she fired, ‘And I don’t want it.’ She pushed me off and pulled the sleeve of her jumper over her hand so she could wipe my slobber off her face defiantly.
I dropped my hands to my side and shrugged my shoulders in surrender. ‘Yeah. I do. I got stupid, it’s true. I’m sorry Rainey, you’re so right, I’ve been so obsessed with Michael and I’ve been talking about him non-stop.’ I confessed sadly.
‘Yeah! You have! Like a broken record.’
‘I know! And I’m sorry. I can’t stop thinking about him either. I think I’ve got some sort of disease.’
‘Michael-stupid-dumbhead-itis?’ Rainey said with a sly grin.
‘Yes. That’s exactly what I got. Michael-stupid-dumbhead-itis. And I got it bad Doc. Do you have a cure, can you help me?’ I got down on one knee and implored her melodramatically.
Rainey looked at me for a second, with her head to one side, as if she was trying to work out her next move. She could either keep fighting me or...
In an act of sheer inspiration, she carefully mimed putting on an imaginary stethoscope and put it to my heart and shook her head sadly. ‘Hmmm... it’s not good. Did you know that you no longer have a heart?’
‘Oh that’s really not good. Where is it doc?’
‘I think Michael-stupid-dumbhead must have it.’
‘Oh, that’s his name now is it? Michael-stupid-dumbhead?’
For some reason, that really amused Rainey. She started laughing and nodding yes because she couldn’t get her breath to say it. She was holding her tummy with her long arms wrapping around her self, doubled over and shaking, her laugh so high, it sounded like two pieces of polystyrene squeaking together. So funny!! Set me off too, and I laughed and laughed.
After some time, our giggles turned into long sighs, and we kicked our bags over by the fence between the bushes of butterfly grass, and sat down on them. It was a beautiful day, sunny but with a freshness in the breeze that meant winter was coming. I could hear the magpies warbling their morning song behind the noise of the kids laughing and joking as they made their way through the big white gate in to school.
Rainey took my hand.
‘You know, I’m sorry too. I just get so scared that you are going to go off with him and leave me alone forever,’ she said, a little strained. I could hear she was holding back tears. But it was good to hear those words. And it was really good to hear her say them out loud. We both knew that was the heart of the problem.
‘Oh Rain man! I would never do that! I love you so so much!’ I pulled her right into me for a hug. She started crying. I whispered ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ into her apple-blossom hair and held her close.
Her cries slowed. I rubbed her back. The other kids were walking past looking at us curiously. Shelley Martin and her crew even popped their heads outside the gate to have a look. Shelley’s deep red silky curls were highly visible. I hated that hair, I saw it everywhere. I hated her beauty and I hated how she never noticed me til times like these, when I’d rather be invisible.
The bell rang.
Raine dried her tears.
We walked hand in hand to class.
