Lethally In Love

Chapter Two

My mind races throughout the entire night, and I'm unable to even shut my eyes, even though the room is black around me. The cold and hard mat underneath my already chilled body isn't exactly relaxing, plus I only found outtoday that I'm supposed to lead an entire nation in war. How is that even possible? How do they expect me, out of all people, to be a leader? I am not the kind of person who should lead armies of people, and I am definitely not the kind of person who should be looked up to. Hasn't Haymitch caught on by now? Why wouldn't he have set Plutarch straight from the very beginning? It isn't fair, because I never even had a say in this position... The only reason I'm even seen as eligible for this is because I defied the rules, over some stupid boy who I'll never even see again. I did it to protect him, and now he's going to just end up dead under the hands of the Capitol anyway. I should have just killed myself with those berries, and let Peeta win. If I had, everything would be fine, and back to the way they should be; where people could starve in safety and send their children off to the reaping... The Hunger Games are games... This is a real war.

I gasp when the floor underneath me suddenly collapses, and I'm falling from the hovercraft. I'm falling faster than the speed of light, and I can hear a symphony screams all around me; the screams of the some of the tributes that I had to watch die in the games. Glimmer and Cato; Mags and Wiress. They're crying out my name, cursing my soul and wishing death upon me. Their blood is splattered on my Quarter Quell wetsuit, and I find myself screaming apologies to all four of them as they taunt me with their haunting lifeless eyes. When I finally escape from them, I find myself trapped inside a forest; I can barely hold onto my tears when I see Rue laying there in front of me with flowers all around her. She is motionless, and blood is pouring from the gash in her stomach. Her voice is echoing in my head, asking me why I let her die; why I let this happen to her. The mockingjays are singing her song in the trees, and their chirps are getting louder and louder, until my ears feel like they're going to bleed out in a broken flow. Suddenly, the mockingjays swarm around me like locusts, pecking at my skin until I'm bleeding a river. They're burning me, with my own fire. From the very inside out and all the way out, they're burning me. They're burning me!

I don't realize that I had fallen asleep, until I bolt up screaming in the darkness. In a burning hot sweat, I look around and realize that the floor hadn't opened up underneath me at all... I was safe, in the spot where I had been laying before any of it happened. Finnick is at my side suddenly, crouching by my mat and asking me what had happened. He's a little too close, so I scoot away after I'm able to catch onto my own thoughts. "Nightmares... but I'm okay." I whisper, trying not to wake anyone; as if my screaming hadn't already done that.

"Ah, nightmares." Finnick gives a sad grin, settling into criss-cross next to me, a little too comfortably. "I get 'em too."

"So did Peeta," I murmur underneath my jagged breath. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't worry about it." He smiles. You can tell he's eager to hug me, or touch me in a friendly way so I can begin to feel better; but he didn't, not out of fear, but out of respect for me. "It's just a victor thing." He smirks, and I can't help but smile too. It was so true, the way he put it; true enough that it was almost funny. "Are you gonna be okay?" He asks, and I simply nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I respond, clearing my throat of it's hoarseness and salty tears.

"Alright," he lags in getting up to go back to his mat, and I feel relieved when he finally does. I hadn't exactly been expecting anyone to be able to comfort me from my nightmares anymore... Peeta was gone, and he was the only person I thought I knew who still got them and understood the pain of them. I was a little surprised that Finnick out of all people still got them, and that he wanted to comfort me from mine.