Crying For Your Help {JJ x Yuri fanfic}

Chapter 10

Days. Weeks. Months. It's been so damned long since Yuri's death and day by day JJ has slowly breaking. Every part of his sanity is slowly chipping away. He's clinging to one small strand that has still refused to break.

JJ was walking down the straight holding a bouquet of  lily's and gypsophila wrapped in a beautiful plastic covering with the Russian flag on it.

On his way down he saw Otabek in the distance by Yuri's grave. He hadn't put anything down but JJ could tell he was talking because he could see his lips moving.

After a while he had gotten up and JJ started walking again. As Otabek came down the hill he brushed shoulders with the Kazakhstani male. “Watch where you're going, dumbass.” JJ said.

Otabek rolled his eyes and continued walking down the hill. JJ continued to walk to the top and kneeled down in front of his grave. It was a large grey tombstone with ‘In Loving Memory of Yuri Plisetsky’ written in fancy joined up writing.

JJ slowly lay down the flowers and sighed as he put his head against the top of it. “Please come back Yuri...it's so hard without you here...”

A few tears dropped onto the grass below him as a storm broke out and it began to rain. JJ smiled when the rain hit the stone. “Hey...it's your favourite weather, Yuri!”

He knew Yuri couldn't directly talk to him but he would imagine the Russian teangers voice in his head when he spoke and think of something in response to say. Everyone thought he was crazy and a complete psychopath for doing this. But with the amount of stuff JJ has been through...you'd expect him to be depressed and sad because of his life...Yuri's death hadn't helped him in any way.

JJ believed that if he spoke to Yuri, he'd hear him from heaven...

After he had explained his day to Yuri's grave, he kissed it and slowly got up. He hugged his arms and then headed home. Tears fell down his cheeks staining his tanned skin just like before.

People stared at him from their windows because he was walking down a street full of people with umbrellas.

People always asked him where Yuri was and he never gave an answer.

When he arrived home he walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of red wine out his cupboard sitting at the table and taking a gulp from the bottle. After a few more the bottle was finished. Yeah...after everything...

JJ became an alcoholic...

He didn't want this to happen, in fact he really wanted to quit. Some even suggested he go to rehab but be didn't go. He thought he could do it on his own. Give up himself but...it only got worse.

He couldn't stop, it had gotten so out of control it was so hard to quit now. I mean, he came this far and if he wanted to die too (which he was still considering...) then wouldn't this be s good way to kill yourself? Nah...too predictable.

He didn't want to die for the minute, he hadn't lost all his sanity. Like I said, there was still a little but left that refused to snap. But once that did, all of JJ's sanity would officially be gone.

He stood up from the table and grabbed another bottle of wine heading into the living room and sat on the couch turning on the TV. There wasn't much on...just a few films but that was really it. He decided to put one on, as he watched he drank the wine he had in his right hand.

Just as he finished the bottle there was a knock at the door. He really didn't want to get up and answer it but he did anyways and got up from the couch and headed to the door opening it to see Isabella standing there.

He slammed the door shut. “Fuck off, Izzy.” He said, a little drunk and not quite sure what was going on. It wasn't knew, he had been more drunk than this so this was really nothing compared to those other times.

She sighed. “JJ...please just open the door. I need to tell you something important.”

JJ fold her to wait a minute and he headed back into the kitchen pouring himself a glass of vodka putting s lemon in it and walking back over opening the door and taking a sip. “What...”

“I didn't know you were a drinker-”

“Shut up...” He said. “Tell me why you came here.”

“I want you to take me ba-” She began before JJ slammed the door in her face and walked off into the living room again and sat on the couch again with the class of vodka sighing as he put his feet up and watched the movie he had been watching before he was RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY MISS ISABELLA FUCK MY ASS YANG. *cough* excuse me.

The movie finished as did JJ with his vodka and sat it aside, heading upstairs to his room. He glanced  to his left and stepped back seeing all his knifes and all kinds of weapons. The one Yuri had used sitting on the floor beside him. He gripped his hair and fell back against the wall sliding down it and crying as his grip tightened.

The scene of Yuri killing himself played in his head over and over. He wasn't sure if this was the vodka or his memory that were forcing him to watch it over and over and over. He even had nightmares of that time...they didn't go away. They stayed there and refused to give up haunting him.

It almost seemed like his mind was mocking him, as if to say “This is your fault he did this” or something along those lines. Maybe he should end it. What is there left for him in this wretched world?

Nah...still too early...