Unloveable

Chapter one-The first time I felt loved

I sat in the living room. Xavierrs parents for drunkenly fighting again...Things were flying everywhere, Xaviers father Charles threw a thin glass plate at me it hit the back of my shoulder. I ran to the bathroom and began picking shardes of glass from my shoulder, i bandaged myself up and packed my stuff. I never told Charles or Annalee or Xavier that I was leaving. I just took my stuff and left.

I walked for the entire day before I sat under a train bridge and started a small controlled fire and fell asleep. The next morning I heard voices and somebody talking to the cops, when I put two-and-two together and realized they were talking about arresting me for sleeping under the bridge I ran, The cops followed at close persuit. I ran to a train just pulling out of the station and jumped on an empty meat car just as the train hit full speed, I lost the cops and tuckered and jumped off the train around Chicago.

It was just about the same old story everyday for about two years, By this time i had spent two birthdays eating whatever I could snatch or bullcrap off of people and sleeping on park benches singing a low eerie anti birthday song to myself.  A couple months later I was walking down a busy road when an older man about in his late fourties offered me a ride. I agreed jumping in th passenger side.

"Where you headed kid?" He asked shifting gears on the truck. "

"I dont know. I dont have anywhere to go." I shruged and knawed at a beef stick looking out the window at the passing farm lands.

"Oh...Well thats too bad. How's about you come and stay with me for awhile?" He said turning into a long dirt road lined with a white picket fence on both side and filled with doezens on horses.

"I wouldnt want to be a burden to somebody else." I said remembering everybody I ever lived with said that I was just that.

"No burden at all. My wife would love to have ya." He said pulling up to a two story farm house with a deck extending all the way around the house. It had a balcony on the front room on the top level. The door was painted blood red with a knocker on the front.

I got out of the car and walked inside. The house had all hard wood floor. The walls were lined in flower wall paper with family pictures and antique things on glass display shelves. My room was on the second level it had a blue flowery bed spread on it and sky blue wall paper. The ceiling was painted to look like a sky with clouds on it. It had pictures of horses and a picture with two little boys about five, the whole thing was sky blue, the boys were wearing over alls with cowboy hats on, right in the middle of the two of them it said: "Been farmin long?" I laughed and tossed my huge army duffel on the bed and put my cloths in the drawers.

I went down stairs as the dinner bell rang. I sat at a small fadded oak wood table set with fadded and chipped pink flowery plates. An older lady about the mans age set the table with buiscuts and gravy, watermelon chunks, hot coffee, milk, pork steak, and corn. I ate heartily since it was the first real meal id had in months almost years. The older lady was the first to speak to me since I arrived.

"Where are you from son?" She asked politly taking a sip of her black coffee.

"Oregon. But I ran away...My parents didnt love me." I said taking a bite on steak then guzzling down my third glass of  milk.

"Oh now im sure that aint true." She said looking shocked at my words.

"it is. I spent sixteen years being abused by them , same thing when I moved in with my best friend and his drunken abusive parents." I Said scooting my plate away and looking down at the table tracing some nicks in the fadded wood with my middle finger. "I have spent two years sleeping and eating where ever i can. Till your husband found me." I replied. 

"Well I can promise you dear we are nothing like that." She replied placing her hand over mine. When  she pulled away my sleeve rolled up revealing doezens of scars and fresh cuts.

She looks at my wrist and looks concerned. "What are these from?" She asked looking at me.

"I uh..I did them." I said rolling my sleeve back down and looking down at my hands.

"What ever for?" she asked looking at me

"Its the only way I know to cope with life." I said still looking down.

"Well dear this wont help" She said sweetly. I  stood up and walked up stairs to my room.

later that night i sat at the top of the stairs listening to the couple talk about me.

"Wess we have to help this boy. He needs us." She pleaded.

"I know Nancy...He can stay as long as he wants. Im not gonna force the boy to stay if he dont wanna though." Wess replied comfortingly.

Nancy doesnt say anything else. I go back to my room realizing I might have found somebody who would actually care. I lay there thinking about the couple. Soon I fell asleep.

The next morning I came down for breakfast. The table was set with over easy eggs, orange juice, pancakes, sausage and bacon, buiscuts, and coffee. Wess took me out and taught me how to run the farm and take care of the horses, Maybe I wasnt as Unlovable as I had always thought. What I didnt know was that this wasnt going to last very long.