Unloveable

Chapter six-Good news and bad news.

We have been married for about a year now and we are still happy. I was sitting downstairs reading a book when Loreli came down and sat on my lap giving me a kiss. "I have some good news for you honey." She said smiling.

I placed the book mark in my book and set it on the table next to me putting my arms around Loreli. "Whats the good news?" I asked

"well.....Im pregnant!" She said excitedly. "You are? Oh wow...Thats great!" I smiled and kissed her. Everything had gone so right for me lately what could go wrong here.

7 months later

It has been seven months since we found out that Loreli is pregnant. We went downstairs and into the car making our way to the hospital to find out what we were having. We sat in the waiting room for what felt like several hours before the nurse called us back. We went  back and the nurse set her up to the saunagrahm machine.

About five minutes later the doctor came back and began the saunagrahm. "It looks like your gonna have a handsome baby boy." The dr said  pointing out how he knew and letting us hear the babies heart beat.

I held Lorelis hand and we smiled as we watched out little baby boy kick around. I was gonna be a daddy and I couldnt possibly be more happy now if I tried.

Two months later Loreli came down stairs her hands on her stomach. "Pheonix I think its time." She said wincing the diaper bag over her shoulder. I jumped up and grabbed the bag helping her to the car before driving her there.They ushered us to a room on the second floor and set Loreli up for the delievery.

I had been sitting next her for five hours my hand going numb as she squezzed it with each contraction. Finally the doctor came in and checked her dialation. "Well Rose your dialated to a full nine. Are you ready to push?" The doctor asked snapping on some gloves. Loreli nodded and began pushing.

Three hours later our beautiful baby boy  was born. I wrapped my arms around my sleeping wife as they cleaned him up. The doctor turned around looking sad. He shook his head. "I'm sorry...He's stopped breathing." The doctor said sadly. He handed me my son so that i could say goodbye. Tears in my eyes I said my goodbyes as they took my baby and  left.

An hour later Loreli woke up and smiled. "Where's my baby?" She asked. I looked down a tear falling. "He stopped breathing after you fell asleep." I said looking away.

She began crying and grabbed my hand pulling to her and we cried together. After she recovered I went up to the babies room. Anger welled up inside me and I threw things breaking whatever I could. Loreli ran up and grabbed my arm. "Pheonix stop!!!" She shouted. I dropped into a rocking chair and she sat next to me. "I know your upset babe....But its gonna be ok." She said kissing me. "You'll see."

Although I believed her I still couldnt believe that I had lost my child. I went to bed that night trying not to think about it as I slept next to my wife...Still the only person I had to love. I didnt mind at all but i felt empty now...Even with my beautiful Loreli.