Avengers: Jedi Master (CWAC Book Two)

Chapter 18: Limbo

Shea struggles over the following weeks, whilst Tony works on her arm, he wants it to be perfect, so it's taking longer then usual unfortunately that leaves Shea one handed, and the one hand she's not used to using. She's been dropping things, unable to lift anything that requires both her hands, she misses her sabre. Everything she is used to doing, everything she loves to do requires two hands. So most days she just sits watching tv, or well, staring blankly at the tv. She feels....lost a little. Not quite sure what to do with herself. She sighs pulling the blanker tighter around her legs as Bucky approaches her, Tony's asked him to talk to her about the whole one armed thing; he thought it might help to hear it from Bucky's perspective.

"Hey" Bucky greets sitting next to Shea who glance to him. "How you doing?" he asks, she shrugs.

"Fine, I guess" she answers glaring at the space where her arm once was. Bucky nods a little and shrugs. "Just sucks" she admits lifting her eyes to his. "Can't do anything"

"That's not true" he argues. "You've still got that one" he points to her remaining hand.

"Yeah, except I need two hands to pilot, two hands to wield a blow torch, two hands to use my sabre....everything I am....and Tony..." she scrubs her hand over her face. "I've seen the girls he used to date, pretty sure none of them had one hand"

"Tony adores you" Bucky whispers. "Anyone can see that..." she looks down running her hand on her jeans. Bucky pulls her closer letting her rest against his side. "It's not perfect" He offers. "Having a prosthetic; but you can learn to do all those things again....and knowing Tony your new arm is going to have all the bells and whistles on" he glances down at her, Shea nods a little and sighs. "Might be even better then mine actually"

"I don't know, Hydra, dicks as they were, they did a pretty good job on your new arm" Bucky nods, yeah, she's right, his new arm, the one suited to his werewolf side is much better then his original arm. But he knows that Tony would do anything for Shea, just like Bucky would for Selene, it's how he knows they're the real deal.

..........

Tony is hunched over his desk, small soldering torch in his hand as he works on Shea's prosthetic arm. The lab doors open and he hears Shea shuffling towards him, blanket wrapped around her, he smiles subconsciously knowing she's there with him.

"How much longer are you going to hide down here?" Shea asks Tony as she approaches his desk, he looks up at her from the arm on the stand in front of him.

"I'm not hiding" he argues, she raises an eyebrow. "I'm working..." he answers taking her hand.

"It's late" she whispers. "It can wait till the morning"

"I just want it to be ready and working as soon as possible" he kisses the back of her hand then lets her cup his cheek, he closes his eyes and leans into it.

"I just want a hand that works" she tells Tony. "I want to be able to pick up something, anything.....that's all that matters" Tony nods and pulls her closer setting her down on his lap, he rests his chin on her shoulder and plays with her hair.

"I just want it to be perfect" he counters. "I want you to be happy with it...I want it to function without any bugs or glitches" she looks to him. "I know how much you need this" he strokes her back. "Plus....you're arm is still healing" he points out. "We can't fit it until Doc gives you the all clear...anyway, so...I will keep working on it" he kisses her head. She hums a little resting against him. "We'll be okay" he assures her warmly. "Wanna see?" he asks her, she nods and lets him lean up a little to type on his computer hooked up to the arm. Pressing a few keys the hand comes to life, a line of purple lights lighting up along the side of it. The fingers move slightly in a wave and Shea smiles. "There are a few things" he starts. "I'll have to insert a chip into your brain" he admits, she turns to him. "Tiny..." he takes her hand and holds it up. "'Bout the size of your little finger nail...no op either" he kisses her hand. "I'll use nanobots, which you'll swallow and they'll go in and building it from scratch in your brain"

"Is that safe?" she asks him. He searches her eyes.

"I won't do anything that puts you in harms way, Shea" he promises her. "And I called Shuri" she frowns at him. "Right, you haven't met the jungle kitties yet" he pulls her closer. "Shuri is this little spitfire who is about 12 and had more brains then me and Banner" he offers with a teasing smirk. "Trust me, I wouldn't let anyone but the best near that brain of yours" she nods a little. "Shuri's on standby for when Bruce gives you the all clear on your arm....and then she'll fly out and get stuck in" he looks to her face. "I know how much being you means to you, and I know you need both hands for most of what you love....I'm going to do everything I can to give you it back" she smiles at him and nods, grateful tears gathering in her eyes. 

.............

Sam kisses Shea's head and places a bowl of her favourite porridge in front of her, complete with raspberry coulée and blueberry pieces. She looks to her friend and he smiles at her.

"Thanks" she offers warmly, he nods and squeezes her shoulder before sitting next to her with his toast and scrambled eggs. This is nothing new. Sometimes before the Avengers became part of her life Sam would often join her for breakfast, they'd talk, or if things were bad for either of them then they'd sit and eat in silence, knowing that support was at their side. And that's what she feels now. Sam as her support, her friend, her former CO and her confidant. She's so grateful for him, for all of them actually. She rests her head on Sam's shoulder and he rests his on top of hers.

"You're going to be fine, Kiddo" he whispers, she sniffles and nods slightly. "Wanna crawl up in bed and watch flight movies?" he asks her, she chuckles a little and nods.

"Please" she whispers.

"Yeah, I think you just need a chill day" he offers leaning up. "Finish your breakfast and we'll get settled in....I'll even grab those disgusting popcorn pieces you like" she smiles and looks to him.

"Sam" she states fondly, he nods.

"Yeah, I know" he looks to her. "I'm awesome" she nods in agreement, he smiles back at her, it's the first time he's seen her appear functional in days now, he knows how hard the loss of her arm has hit her. And he knows that if it wasn't for Tony Shea wouldn't even get out of bed, surprisingly Tony is the one to drag her ass out of bed, he's the one he makes sure she's showered and dressed and ready for breakfast. Sam touches her arm and nods. Shea is the strongest women he knows, except now maybe Selene but Shea is deffo up there, he knows she is going to get through this....and come out stronger.