We can have forever

Not so bad?

What's up motherfuckers hahaha I have not slept in a good 42 hours, but like what's new. So like I've also downed like 6 monsters so hopefully I won't die ig lmao. Ok back to what I was going to say, this story is like my side story my main one is are you sure so this is gonna have some wack update times, but anyways enjoy this shit plz.

Also I'd just like to warn y'all that this chapter includes self harm so please don't read if it'll trigger you <3

John pov

Today's a new day, and today was Friday I was determined to make it a good day, for Freddie. After that day in the bathroom I had been a little distant from him, but not only him everyone, I hadn't talked to anyone for a few days except if they talked to me. My reasoning was if I don't talk to them they don't have to be annoyed by my presence and if I'm lucky they might just forget I exist. This task was extra hard because Freddie was the only person that had ever shown actual unrest in me, but who knows maybe I was just imagining it, I probably was.

After my thoughts had properly devoured my sense of joy I decided to get up and get ready for school. Before I did that I heard my mom shouting something so I stepped out of my room.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET UP EARLIER SO YOU WONT BE LATE AND DISAPPOINT ME, OH BUT YOU'RE NOT JUST DISAPPOINTING ME HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR DAD FEELS ABOUT YPU RIGHT NOW!!!" She shouted at me, oh I forgot to mention my mums an alcoholic. What she said really hit hard, because my dads dead and I'm certain he would feel very disappointed in me if he could see me right now.

The only thing I could do now is cry, so that's exactly what I did. I then walked to my bathroom and grabbed my blade, I played with it a little before those voices in my head came at me again. Oh look at you John you can't even stand up for you're fucking self so what do you do you cut, sounds pretty pathetic to me. I'm sure your dad would agree your nothing more than just an accident and that's all you'll ever be. I couldn't help but agree with those little voices so I did what I could do to shut them up. My fingers positioned the blade so that it was now at my skinny wrist. Then I slid the blade across my skin, I felt the numbing pain shoot through my arm, I watched the blood drip down my hand and for the the first time in a while I finally felt at peace. My other arm reached for the cabinet so I could get my bandages out. I unraveled the bandage and wrapped it round my wrist. Then I wiped the blade off with an alcohol soaked cloth to try and clean off any traces of blood.

After I had gotten dressed I walked out the door, because today I didn't want to ride with my mum it would only end badly. So I started to walk to school. On my way there hot tears were making their way down my cold face, I felt so embarrassed so I picked up my pace a little hoping to go to the bathroom at school and clean myself up a little so no one could tell I had been crying. Just then I heard a car honk at me, I looked back sadly to see a woman driving and Freddie in the passenger seat. The car moved closer until it was right beside me. Freddie told me to get into the backseat with him, I quickly wiped off my tears hoping that he didn't see, that would be the worst.

"What's wrong love?" He asked with concern. Great he saw...
"Oh um n-nothing I just h-had something in my eyes..." I said not too convincingly.
"I know it's not nothing dear, but if you don't want to talk about it right now that's okay too, but promise you'll be okay. I began to worry about you since you became distant from me for a while."
"I'm sorry." That's all I could get out before I started to cry again.
"Hey it's ok love no need to apologize. It's okay." He soothed. I just leaned myself against his chest again in hopes that I might disappear if I closed my eyes hard enough, but sadly that's not how things work.

When we pulled up to the school Freddie's mum parked and Freddie helped me out of the car. He grabbed my bag and put it around his shoulder before hugging his mum. I started to walk off until I felt a small soft hand grabbing my upper arm gently, I turned to see Freddie's mum staring at me with nothing but love and concern coating her gaze.she then pulled me into a tight hug and patted my back comfortingly.
"Are you alright dear" she whispered to me and all I could do was look down and shake my head. "Well you are always welcome to come to my house if that's what you need, have a good day dear." She pulled off from the hug and whispered something on Freddie's ear.

Freddie kept his hand on the small of my back as we walked to our first class with a comfortable silence wrapping around us. Once we had arrived at our class he removed his hand and I didn't know how much I'd miss it until it wasn't there. We sat down in our desks and freddie just looked at me.
"Hey do you want to stay at my house tonight?" He questioned.
"I g-guess." I said with a little hiccup.
"Great we are going to have so much fun after all it is going to be the weekend." He then rested his arm across my shoulders. Maybe today wasn't going to be so bad after all.