We can have forever

Busy day

John pov

I woke up at three in the morning to get ready, when I looked beside me Freddie was still sleeping peacefully and his arms were wrapped loosely around me. Everything just felt so peaceful in that moment, I almost forgot I have to go home at some point. I got up because I had to start getting ready for work no matter how badly I just wanted to skip. When I got out of the bed I saw that Freddie had laid out an outfit for me on his dresser with a little note laid on top.

Dear deakster,
I love you, I probably won't be awake when you leave, but I just wanted you to know that. Have a great day at work and don't wear yourself down. When you come back feel free to talk to me about anything, I don't care if you think it's irrelevant I just want you to talk to me. I think you stress yourself out too much, maybe when you get back I could fix that. ;) (with a massage of course) xoxo love you lots!
From Sir Frederick Mercury the Twentieth

His last little line made me giggle, because I did say his full name sounded very posh. The rest of the note just made me a little uneasy did he know something about me? Maybe I'm just overthinking, he was probably just talking about when I was crying yesterday, wow I'm the worst I made him worry about me. I quickly tossed on my uniform and then went to his bathroom to fix my hair and all, but when I looked in the mirror all I saw was a mistake, why am I bothering freddie I should go home and let my mom abuse me. I mean it's what I deserve.

Once I thought I looked somewhat presentable, I gave myself one last look on the mirror. Obviously that was not the best move, because it kinda set me off, it just reminded of all those thing my mom and others have said about me, I am ugly, I am a mistake, I am a burden, and most importantly I am a disappointment. With that I punched myself on my leg as hard as I could, but not just once I kept doing it. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw something moving, and of course it was Freddie.

"Love, can you calm down for me please. You're too pretty to be hurting yourself. Would you like to talk or do you just want a quick cuddle before work?" He spoke softly trying to get me to calm down. I just latched myself onto him. He sat down against the bathroom counter and sat me on his lap, my head was against his chest and he was playing with my hair while I sobbed.
"Would you like me to sing a song for you?" He asked and I just gave him a weak nod against his chest. He began to sing What a Wonderful World by Sam Cooke into my hair while rocking me.

When he was finished I had stopped crying, but I was still cuddled into his chest, I didn't want to get up I just wanted to disappear.
"Hey baby would you like for my mum to cook you some breakfast before you have to go to work?" I shook my head and he kissed the top of my head. "You need to eat something love, how about just an orange, Is that okay?" I just nodded because I didn't want to disappoint him.

When we had made it to the kitchen he peeled me an orange and handed it over to me along with a cup of tea. I was so grateful for him, without him I probably wouldn't be here right now. He just looked lovingly at me while I ate my orange and drank my tea. When I had finished he took my mug and washed it out then he held his hand out for me.
"I'm going to walk you to work, because these streets can be very dangerous at night Okay?"
"Okay but you're just in your pajamas."
"It doesn't matter no ones gonna see me anyways and if they do at least they'll remember me." He joked and I gave it a weak laugh.
"But seriously would you like to have a chat when you get back. I'd like to see what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours that makes you feel like you need to hurt yourself, but if you don't want to I understand."
"Uh it's okay maybe it would do me some good to talk to someone." Dang why would I say that I don't really want to talk about this, but I guess there's no going back now.

Eventually we reached the store, he kissed my cheek and told me he loved me. Then he began his trek back home, while I just walked into the store so I could clock in, and by the amount of people already in the store at 4:30 I could tell today was going to be a busy day.