Restless Thoughts

Love doesnt stop

I don't really feel like you get over anyone you've ever loved deeply. Not everyone loves deeply, but If you do I feel you would understand or resonate with that I'm saying.

If we're being real here, you can act like they never mattered, you can try to block out all the memories you have of them in your mind, distract yourself with new people and distractions to avoid facing how you feel. It's possible to cope with your feelings in order to move forward with your life....A lot of people do this because they cannot handle their pain. Whether it be internally or their life wont allow them to... they don't have time to be quote on quote "negative" or sad.

When you don't take the time to heal from the things that have hurt you... you will adapt the "just get over it" mindset. Which in my opinion is extremely unhealthy and disregarding.

Healing is not easy. It hurts. You'll be tested, you'll go through grief... you'll feel so many emotions and it can be extremely overwhelming...but it will bring you to a point of love and acceptance down the line.. an inner peace.

Personally my first relationship happened when I was 16–19 I did not see my life being with anyone else and I just started to make sense of it all and piece everything together and I'm 28 now. I was depressed for almost an entire year after the breakup and in denial about a lot. I never took the time to focus on myself and mental health after it all. I just floated forward for years. I went on to being in two other serious relationships from that point... one from 19–20 the other one started when I was 21 and I'm still trying to figure out where I stand with that relationship today as well.

A couple things I did take from being in 3 serious relationships was I still love everyone that I had been with. I'm not in love with them, but I still carry love in my heart for them. They were an important person in my life and I would be lying if I said I never cared or if I acted as if they never mattered.

I loved each person differently. The way I felt about my first love is a completely different feeling than how I felt about my second or third love. Each relationship had its own unique dynamic and love that impacted and touched my heart. I appreciate all the love I was able to experience. I never went into a relationship with expectations. I never tried to recreate the same relationship twice, I was open to new experiences & when you are open to creating something new that's when you're able to grow and move on. A lot of people put a lot of standards and expectations on love which puts them behind many barriers..& this only limits their hearts capacity to love & be loved. Not saying people shouldn't have standards just saying people tend to stick to what they're comfortable with.

I became a mom when I turned 24 in the third serious relationship I am still invested into today. Having to take a step back and prioritize my life almost forced me to look back and self reflect. I'm still coming to terms with things until this day and it has not been an easy road for me. I spent a lot of my life on auto pilot so when it was time for me to take the wheel nobody was safe on the road. I'm 28 and still trying to heal from things that happened when I was a child. All that time I spent avoiding my feelings & avoiding myself may have felt good in the moment but when it all starts to hit you one day it will leave you no choice but to fight back and it's not an easy thing to face. Try your best to really face how you feel sooner than later... it doesn't go away.. you suppress that emotion and it is then instilled inside of you unconsciously affecting your everyday thinking and moves. You don't get over someone you love deeply, you learn to let go of the expectations of the love you wanted from them and move on with acceptance.

Until you're able to get to that point....even if you don't think about them, care about them, hate them etc...if you're still harboring that pain and expectation inside of you, they still have control over you whether you realize that or not.

So I say don't get over the relationship that was full of deep love... face what you're feeling, allow yourself to grieve...focus on what you need to do. seek support, surround yourself around supportive people who will allow you to express yourself without feeling ashamed or judged...and move at your own pace. be present, aware, conscious of what it is your feeling and be vulnerable with yourself. Allow yourself to feel. To be able to see things in different perspectives & move on to new opportunities of love in a healthy state of mind. It won't be easy but you will come out stronger.