I Prefer the Good Guys

You're What Now?

Tyler gave me a lot of attention as we drove through Utah. He asked multiple times if I was okay but I just stayed quiet or gave vague answers. I gripped his hand and closed my eyes. It was getting very dark and I was getting very tired.

I leaned on Tyler and started to cry. I wanted Ava. I wanted my babygirl to lay between us and play "Pokesies."

Pokesies was a game she made up and loved to play. She would poke one of either me or Tyler and then point to the other, blaming it on them. Tyler and I would act like we didn't know it was her and start poking each other. She would then yell "Pokesies!" and we would gasp and start poking her. She played it with B.R.I.A.N. a lot. She doesn't even call him B.R.I.A.N.. He's "bubby" to her.

I sobbed more and looked at Tyler, "Our gorgeous baby."

"Y/n, please don't do this," He said, starting to cry as well, "Not right now."

"But our-"

"I know, Y/n," He suddenly got mad, "I know damn well who she is. She's our princess, our angel, our little piggy...our baby..." tears started streaming down his face. He was finally letting it get to him.

They had just given me Ava, wrapped in a little pink blanket. She was crying loudly but she was gorgeous. I remember how her little face was all scrunched up. She looked like Tyler when he was angry and it just made me smile wider.

I looked up at Tyler who looked at her like she was a dream. He seemed dazed by her beauty. I lightly lifted her up for him and he looked at me, scared. "Hold her like this," I said and showed him. He admitted to never holding a baby before and was terrified of dropping or hurting our daughter, but he slowly took her in his hands and it came to him naturally.

He stood up straight and looked at the baby, Lightly bouncing, making her stop crying. A tear rolled down his cheek as he smiled at her. "Hi baby," He whispered. She moved her head slightly and he looked at me like he just won an award. He cried more happy tears as he bent down to my level. "She's perfect," He sobbed as he put his forehead to mine. I help hold her between the two of us as Tyler kissed me sweetly, still crying.

These tears weren't happy tears, though. Tyler was letting out tears of a broken man, and everyone heard it. I sat up and he hugged me tight as he cried. He started screaming into my shoulder and I wiped my tears away, wanting to be the stronger one for the sake of both of us. It was terrible that everyone was hearing this, but I wanted Tyler to let it out. I wanted him to realize that it's okay to cry.

I suddenly heard more crying. It got louder and louder. I couldn't look since I was cuddling my husband, but I believe it was Scotty. Slowly but surely, the whole bus started crying, B.R.I.A.N. was getting so upset, he was swerving all over the road.

"B.R.I.A.N., pull over to a hotel," I said, "it's been a long day."

"No," He said, his voice shaky, "we won't stop till my battery is low."

I sighed, knowing he wouldn't listen to me. I rubbed Tyler's back and pulled his face up to mine, kissing it softly. I couldn't help but cry when I looked at him; I've never seen him so sad.

"I tried to grab her," He cried, "I...I..."

He couldn't finish his sentence. He started to calm down a little and put me on his lap to hug me. I knew he was getting tired so I played with him hair and whispered, "We'll her her back. It'll be okay, honey. She'll be with us in no time." I kissed his cheek right before he fell asleep, laid on his shoulder, soon letting sleep take over me as well.

~

"Ava," I said, "Where are you, baby?"

"Mommy?" I heard her behind me. I turned around and ran to her, sliding on my knees to hug her. I gripped her and started crying.