how to not die alone(on hold)

my body: unsustainable

im stuck for words.
sentences are cut up like static on a tv
i want to talk about how you're coming apart.
lighting little bits of yourself on fire
just to please the crowd
or how
my edges are fraying and
its all so boring and
i cant stop picking at it.
or even how
im so jealous i can feel myself
inching towards the lighter,
only nothing comes out.
im choking on my own desperation and
it tastes like warm tarmac and gasoline.
my movement's disjointed and i cant stop
reaching except
i dont want to burn out.
but ive already been doused in petrol,
and fuel can only be used when set alight so
i dont think i have a choice.