Middle School

Entry 3: 9/8/20

Me and Charlotte texted this morning, and she didn't bring up Paul, thank God. She was complaining about her horrible weekend. She and her dad got into some fights this weekend, and her dad ended up loosing his cool and told her he didn't care about her. Wow. That's pretty harsh. I decided to keep my mouth shut about that. We're going on a field trip, but I don't know if I should talk about it with her. It's some kind of hockey game. I'll bring this along and keep a log of how she's feeling. Gonna stop writing now, don't want to be late for the bus aga- and it's already here. Crap.

Today's looking good so far. In science pretending to take notes right now. Jamie and I were just talking about how boring the field trip is gonna be. Mr. Wilson comes by and joined the conversation. It's pretty awkward when you and a teacher share an opinion. I like Mr. Wilson though. It's like he represents the nerd population of the school. We're gonna walk to the cafeteria soon. That's where we start boarding the buses.

On the bus now. Me and Jamie looked for Charlotte, Regina, and Paul. I promised Paul that I would play Clash of Clans with him (we are guild leaders in the 12th strongest guild, after all). I've been a jerk to him anyways. He probably deserves a break. Charlotte still upset about her dad. I should probably say something, but I can't bring myself to. Whatever, I'll figure something out.

Bus is pulling up to stadium right now. It was really fun. Me and Paul played Clash the whole time. Charlotte was moping the whole time. She sat behind us and heard us laughing and having fun, which made her feel worse. Probably should have said something, but (like usual) I'm an idiot.

In the stadium, and Charlotte went to the bathroom. I think I'll try to make her feel better once she gets out. If I can't Rema will be my backup plan. Rema is Charlotte's best friend. I think they've know each other since kindergarten. We're friends, but not really good ones or anything. Either way, I'm pretty confident I'll be able to cheer her up. Crap she's coming.

Welp. I completely screwed up. I somehow made Charlotte feel even worse than before. I started by telling her that her dad was just upset and didn't mean what he said and blah blah blah. She ignored me completely. I tried to tell her that she had friends like me and Rema that cared about her, which made her wince a little. Finally, I tried making a few jokes. Mmm. One small problem with that. I am not funny. People have only ever laughed ironically at my jokes. She just got more and more annoyed at every joke. I just stopped trying after a while. I'm kind of an idiot for thinking that I would be able to make her feel better in the first place, anyways.

Hollllllllllllllllllllllllly Crap. I am going to kill myself. On the bus, Paul told me he was gonna sit next to Charlotte to try to make her feel better. I told him good luck with that, and sat next to Jamie, who sleeps on bus rides anyways. I was behind them, listening in like a creep (the usual). Paul literally made her forget about everything in a matter of minutes. I don't even know what he did. He just made a few (unfunny) jokes, and showed her something on his phone. She started cracking up almost imitatively. What. The. Crap.

I wasn't gonna use my journal for the rest of the day. But of course, there's no such thing as rock bottom. I asked Charlotte if she felt any better, and said yeah, but went on this tangent about how I should learn to pick up on hints and that I really needed to work on my social skills. She told me to go ask Paul for advice and went to bed. Now I'm gonna go to bed now. Hopefully, I'll never wake up.