In Dead Men's Shoes

Chapter 19

During sixth period, my phone buzzed with persistent emails from Andrew. Apparently he was head of the whole drama club now, because he had decided we were having an extra long rehearsal after school today to make up for lost time. As if this whole thing with Catalina wasn't a distraction enough, now I had this goddamn play to worry about. My teacher glared at me for twenty minutes straight as I silenced notification after notification, stealthily trying to read the emails under my desk. I barely knew why I hadn't quit this whole circus yet. It seemed somewhere, there was a part of me deep down that just needed to make others happy. I hated it. Other people, naturally, tended to love it.

At long last, the bell sounded. I headed to my locker for a minute to collect my thoughts, along with my books, and breathe in the outside air for an extra moment before diving into what was sure to be an interesting evening. After a couple of minutes, I made my way over to the drama room, anticipating different outcomes every time. Clearly, Andrew had found some new people to do the play for him. How many were new? How good were they? What if they were rude or peculiar or stupid? I wasn't normally one to judge people, but I had dealt with far too many out-of-the-ordinary situations to take any more bullshit.

When I walked in the door, I was greeted by a pleasant surprise, considering the possibilities that had run through my head. I recognized almost everybody lining the room in some way or another. A good handful of them were reviewing lines already, which made my job easier. And none of them seemed to be sources of trouble.

Andrew stood in the middle of them all, the conductor of a symphony of swarming teens. He smiled briefly by way of greeting upon noticing me.

"There you are."

"I'm not late, am I?"

"Not really," he said, "I just need to ask you a question."

By the way he wrung his hands, I could tell I would want to deny him before he even spoke. I raised my eyebrows.

"Okay," he said. "So, I know you're apprehensive, but just hear me out -"

"This doesn't have anything to do with Catalina, does it?"

"No, no, we have a Catalina, but - we're missing a Jess."

It took me a second, "Oh, nope. Hell no. Hard pass." And any other possible way I could say no in the English language.

I was an athlete, born and raised. But an artist? A performing artist, at that? Definitely not my career path.

"Please, Jess. We've ran out of cast members, and all I need is for you to give it one shot. We won't have a play without you."

"Just take out that one random friend and make them play me."

"Indie's still playing her, and she doesn't want to learn a whole new set of lines and a whole new character. I don't blame her. All these new cast members are going to be working their butts off."

"Was that supposed to make me say yes? Come on, you know I am not a fan of working my butt off. In physical situations, sometimes. But not to learn lines for a school play."

"It's just - Jess." Andrew's eyes stared into mine in a way that seemed to make their chocolate-brown color melt with warmth. If I was straight, I might have said yes right then and there. "It would mean everything to me," he continued.

I almost bought it. That spark in the back of my mind that was ever the people pleaser lit up. Come on, it said, Andrew needs this, and you're getting kind of hypnotized by his dark chocolate eyes and perfect smattering of freckles, anyway...

I blinked and stood my ground. "I have already done so much for you. I let you write this play, and I let you create it, and co-directed with you the whole time, because it was your dream. Yes, I wanted it, but you were the reason I kept my support going strong. Then, I let you invite Catalina to play herself, even when it wasn't safe, and then stay on the cast, even when she was clearly more endangered. And all of that has just caused me a shit ton of stress, so - I don't know why you would expect me to say yes to any of this."