Love Aaron

One

Dear Annalise,

It's been about a year since you've committed suicide.

An overdose.

You never mentioned how you were starting to get addicted to them.

When I got back from practice, I saw your feet poking out from the bathroom.

I started screaming your name.

Annalise! Annalise! Oh god what did you do!?

I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest and at the same time there was a heavy weight on my chest.

I called 9-1-1 and explained what had happened.

They rushed over to our dorm and put you on a gurney.

They asked me how long you've been down and I said it could've been as long as 2 hours.

One of the paramedics looked at the other and they grabbed a body bag.

I remember looking away, in tears, grabbing my hair yelling no.

This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

You said it was getting better.

You said you were feeling happier.

You said you were okay.

Do you remember when I said I'd give up football for you?

And how I wouldn't know what to do if you died?

Well all of that is happening right now.

I don't know what to do

I don't know how to feel.

I don't know who to see.

I am lost without you, Annalise.

My heart is lost without you.

I miss you more than words can say.

I wish you were here.

Love,
Aaron.