Sophomore Year Journal

Don't I make ya wanna scream?

(9/8/14)

English class.

So far English is actually really easy, guess my last year English teacher finally got through to me on many points.

The pond is a very relaxing place. I do have random dreams of dying there though.. More like daydreams.. Because my sleep is random dosages of vivid dreams with a period of simple winks.

Those suck. It's like I'm either drowning in LSD or I'm just passing out for a second.

Makes my days come and go faster. It makes me feel like I have no break sometimes. I did talk to Tyler for a few days and all my thoughts of sadness went away. it was small talk but I was happy to be around him a bit. He knows how to brighten someone up quickly...

No, I don't have a crush on him. This is purely platonic. I have a thing for a girl in the freshmen though.

New girl. Oh yeah.... She would definitely accept at least a friend. Christian schools are hard to find girlfriends in.

Thought I would have a chance with one atheist girl but oh well. She's straight, yo.

A new guy is hot too, but men don't strike my fancy like a nice, soft and curvy girl.

There are a lot of differences in men and women.. I mean not stating the obvious.

You learn to notice those things by observation, Not just noticing they have a chest or not.

New topic: that group is back up. I'm barely around in it anymore though. I'm always by the pond. I don't know what I'm gonna do during the winter to be honest.

snow on the ground and everything, the pond froze with all forms of life frozen with it..

I still haven't told the story of Tyler or Josh. Dang.

I also wish I could use... Other forms of language on here.

But then the story would get detected.. And school administrators would read it.

Also an embarrassing chance I'm willing to take. I mean there's nothing really bad about me. They'll probably take the whole sadness thing out of whack same with the.. Idk what to call it..? my likings.. "IT'S SINFUL YOU NEED HELP."

Nah, you need help. I'm sick of this place.