Saudade (Published under Indie Pop)

Chapter 49: The Lake of Dreams

Chapter 49: The Lake of Dreams

The Lake of Dreams was a serene park located in the middle of the Eastern woods. Its water was deep and dark that it was almost impossible to see what was lying underneath the lake. Some people claimed that they could hear hollow voices calling them whenever they pass in this part of the Eastern woods. Thus, there were only few who would take this path to get to where they were going. Those who intentionally came and visit usually had flowers to throw on the water as they whisper silent prayers. It was also forbidden to swim on it.

The people of the East Land and the rulers were gathered in front of the Lake of Dreams. I tried to remain strong as I held my crying mother in my arms. I had to hold her tight for she might be running again to the wooden canoe where the body of my father, surrounded with beautiful, fresh flowers, was lying. A priestess of the East Land started to utter prayers for the dead. We believed that this ceremony would bring peace to the soul of my father and that he would bring our love wherever he goes after this life. The final rite was to cleanse the soul and body by fire before letting it sail to the Lake of Dreams where the dead's soul would find the portal to the afterlife. I often wondered if the bed of this lake was mostly consisted of sand and ashes from the dead. The Lake of Dreams reminded us that in death, we're all equal – with nothing left of us but memories. Ofcourse, no one would be crazy enough to swim on it.

When the prayers were finished, I ushered my mother to the canoe where we said our final farewells to my father. My mother's body became heavier to carry as she held on to the canoe. She didn't want to let my father go. And I didn't want, too. However, life didn't stop for anyone – not even for us. It was better to give my father his peace and face the war he left behind. Tarnus was immediately at my side and helped me with my mother. And with a deep, sad sigh, I motioned for the priestess to proceed with the cleansing. My mother's wail became louder as the canoe began sailing with fire slowly consuming it. I remained stoic as I watched the remnants of the canoe slowly disappeared to the depth of the lake. I clenched my fist on my side as I stopped myself from swimming the Lake of Dreams and retrieve every bit of my father's ashes. I didn't want to let go but I couldn't show them that. Doubting my ability to lead the East Land had already given me a huge blow. I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing my weakness.

However, regret started to fill me as I met my mother's tear-stricken eyes. She finally looked awake and aware of what was happening around her. And I bit my lip as I saw anger and disappointment in her eyes. My heart clenched as she tried to free herself from my tight embrace and shaking her head slowly, she trudged back to the waiting carriage.

I decided to let her go as Tarnus ushered me to the other waiting carriage. The attendees of the ceremony started to go to their horses and carriages to go back to where they came from. Now that the ruler of the East Land had already found peace in the Lake of Dreams, there was no reason for them to stay longer in the East Castle – unless, they were the council members who would discuss the condition of my betrothal to Lord Chester.

"Mother, can I talk with you for a moment?" I asked when I entered her room. That night, I decided that whatever my mother was holding against me, I must face it. She's the only one that was left to me. I would do anything to earn her forgiveness.

"Why?" she snapped, looking at me through her huge vanity mirror. The servant who was helping her with her hair and night dress immediately excused herself and left us. My mother, gone was the wallowing one, stood confidently and walked towards my direction. I began to feel intimidated at how she was showing her power in front of me.

"I know you're mad at me. Please know that I tried really hard to keep the East Land and the Crimson family in power. It's just that these people are so cunning, it made me feel that they planned for it all along." I began to feel frustrated and caged. Under my mother's scrutinizing glare, I felt like I had no one to turn to – like I was bare and there was no way for me to hide anything from her.