BOSS [+18]

17. Confuse

I feel like the ground was removed from my feet and my whole body gone cold. What did he mean confuse? I stare at him for a while we both speechless, but I can't say a single but I need to say something. I force my lips to form a sentence:

"What do you mean confuse Jared?"

He still doesn't say a fucking word and I'm losing my mind. His blue eyes are staring at nothing and I can feel the persistent tears forming on my eyes. I can't cry, not in front of him because it'll show that I care, and he can't know. I just want to know what is on his mind, he's been so lovely with me so far and now he's just ignoring me and confuse. Why everything with this man it's so hard. Finally he broke the silence:

"You should go, and we should stop this" he says in a hard tone barely looking at my face.

"Why? What made you suddenly change your mind Jared? I don't understand you, yesterday you were almost begging me to stay and now you think you can just talk to me like that?" I say with the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"You're too involved into that, I never said that it would be something else. I'm your fucking boss for god's sake, don't you see that? It was just a thing, but now it's over. Please leave my house and from now on address me as Mr. Leto and our only relationship will be strictly professional" he says while he passes his fingers on his hair, still don't even looking at me.

My blood was drained from my face, suddenly I feel sick like someone punched me in the stomach. He wasn't wrong, I'm too involved and I can't help myself but just drawn with my whole body into this. And I always knew that he never wanted anything to do with me but there was always a stupid voice in my head saying 'go on' and now look what I got.

I can't answer a single thing after his revelation and I know if I open my mouth I will cry forever. I grab my phone and call an Uber so I can just get out of his life. I take the rest of my stuff and stand by the door and just mumble:

"Have a good night, Mr. Leto" I say closing the big doors behind me.

I left his house and the car is already waiting for me, I can't help but just let my tears run down over me. The driver tries to do small talk with me and ask me if I'm ok but I can barely talk.

I finally arrive to my house and I just fall on my bed with the heavy tears on my face. I never experienced a pain like that, ever in my life, all the belt hits that he had gave me once felt like someone was caressing me, and anything was like I was feeling now. So I was really in love with him, even though I tried to deny and lie to myself of my own feelings I really did love him. I ruined everything I had for him, my relationship with someone who did loved me back, possibly my job since I still don't know how I'm going to face him ever again.

Flashbacks start to run on my head and I try to understand what happened, everything was just fine, more than fine. And suddenly he changes, he makes me feel like a stupid bitch that he used and throw it away. Maybe I was a stupid bitch, I cheated my own boyfriend. Maybe I deserve this horrible pain in my chest.

I try to sleep but his image just can't get out of my head. His perfect blue eyes, how he cared for me, the way his lips formed a cute line every time he called me baby girl and I knew I was in trouble, good trouble. How can you not fall in love with someone like that?

I don't know exactly but after all this crying session I finally get some sleep but dreaming about him the entire night.

I woke up with my alarm clock ringing and I notice that is Monday and I have to go to work. I can't let anything come in front of my job, it was my responsibility to have an affair with the boss and now I have to deal with this myself.