BOSS [+18]

33. Leave

As I said, you guys waited for so long you deserve a new update so there it is, it's a little shorter than usual but I hope you enjoy it! Also listen to the song chasing cars by snow patrol while you read it, you know to improve the experience.

Pain that was all I felt, a huge pain in my abdomen. After that darkness moment I woke up in a hospital bed, with Jared looking at me and a huge pain.

"Hey" he whispered when I opened my eyes.

"What happened?" I try to say with my weak voice.

"I don't know if we should talk about this now baby, what matter is that you're ok" he says giving me a soft kiss on my hand.

Something was wrong. We had this huge fight and I really thought it was over, after all the things he said to me I honestly don't know if I can forgive. But yet there he is next to me, caring after me. How can I deal with this situation?

The abdomen pain hit me again and then something else hit me. The baby, is he or she ok? Is that the reason I'm here? It's probably why I'm having this pain, is the baby. Whatever works as long as the baby is ok. But I need to ask.

"The baby, Jared? Our baby is ok?" I ask and I see all the color from his face go away he lets go of my hand as starts to put fingers between his hair. That made me feel sick for what I feel what would be his answer.

"Baby..." he holds my hand once again and I can feel his palms are sweating "Harper, the baby didn't survived. You had a miscarriage, the doctors still don't know the reason, I'm sorry" he whispers with pain filling his voice, I never saw him like this but his answer blinded me of whatever reaction he could have. I feel the tears automatically forming in my eyes and the hugest pain inside my chest like someone stabbed me so many times. Our baby was gone, images of little boy with blue eyes and black hair are vanished away from my eyes. I cry loud feeling Jared stroking my hand. But this is his fault; he wanted this since the beginning. I can't stay with a person like this, he offended me, he wished our baby was dead and he accomplished. I just can't look at his face, never again.

Feeling the disgust fill me in I pull my hand away from him. I still didn't say a single word since he told me our baby was gone. Only the thought in talking with him again made me want to throw up. I know how can someone you love with your life make you feel like this?

But yet Jared made me feel like this over him, and I don't want to see him in my life ever again. So I decided the words I'm saying now will be our last, for good.

I take a deep breathe with the tears still damping my face and look at him.

"I need you to leave Jared" I whisper with all the strength I found inside me.

"Do you want to be alone baby? I can leave but I'll be back, I don't want you alone" he says like everything was normal, the nerve of that man.

"No Jared I need you to leave my life. I don't want to see you ever again. I'm quitting my job with you and everything we have."

"Baby why are you acting like this, you're not being reasonable" he answers with despair on his voice.

"Why Jared? Do I need to say? Ok I'll say it. You offended me Jared, you didn't trusted when all I ever done was trusting you with my life. You hurt me in all the ways someone can imagine, you physically attacked me and hurt my heart. You wished our baby to die, and look, your wish is accomplished, there is no baby to be disturbing your life. But I am out too; I can't live with someone who did what you did to me. I love you and I always will, but I love myself more and I can't put myself in this position again. I lost the first thing that really mattered to me in my life, this tiny little baby, it was all I have. Because I thought I have you but I think I never did" I say with the words coming out of my throat like knives.

"Please Harper don't leave me, we can work this out. I'm sorry I was a piece of shit, I didn't knew what to do. But now I know. I love you and I can't lose you. If you want another baby we can make one, whatever you want just don't leave me" he said with tears on his eyes.

"You still don't understand don't you? I can't do this, please leave. Before I call someone. And I'll take my stuff out of your house once I step foot in LA." I say crying but knowing that this is what I need to do now, we can't do this anymore.

"Are you sure is that what you want?" he asks.

"Yes" I answer in a harsh tone.

He make his way to the door looking at me with the most sad and painful face I ever saw in my life, but this wouldn't change what he'd done, that's it. We're done.

After that the nurse comes inside and tries to catch me up with everything that happened and I can't stop crying. Crying over losing my baby and the love of my life, at least I thought Jared was.

Rachel came to me some hours later and I told her everything with more tears coming and she cried with me. She asked me if I wanted her to leave the job but of course I told her to keep it, it was her dream and I would never come between her dreams. She stayed with me for a while until the time she has to work. The band had a concert today and she needed to attend.

After the concert Shannon came to visit me and told me he knew what happened, he tried to change my mind but I just asked him to stop, anything he says wouldn't change what Jared done and I was sick of it.

All that happened in the last hours made me wonder, if you knew that this would be the last time you'd kiss the person you love what would do? If you knew that this would be the last time you'd make love to the person you love what would do?

Would you kiss it harder? Would you enjoy every single second better? Would you say many times more that you loved the person?

If we only knew.

Unfortunately, we never know.

And that day was the last time I saw Jared Leto, the man I loved.

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I know I know, I'm evil, don't kill me ok? AHAHHAHA. Well what do you think is going to happen now? See you soon.