Love Is Nothing But A Four Letter Word

Because Of Me

Chapter 36-

Be sure to check the song to the side. I think it really fits with the chapter.

**Tamara’s POV**

*Flashback*

“Ryan!” I yelled. “Ryan!”.

No, no, he has to wake up. For god’s sake. Make him wake up. Oh god.

He can’t be dead. No. He has to come back.

“Ryan! Wake up!” I yelled while grabbing his face.

“Call it in, fast” I heard someone yell.

Then I heard sirens and someone pulling me away from Ryan.

“No! Let me go! He needs me!” I yelled trying to get away from their grasp.

I saw that Tom was on the floor too.

“Tamara calm down” Steve told me, turning me around and hugging me.

I cried hard on his shoulder. “I don’t want him to die, I don’t want him to die Steve” I said.

“Shhh, it’s okay” He said patting my back.

“We’re good to go chief” Some guy said.

Steve nodded and let go of me.

“Go in the ambulance with him” He said. I did as told, because I was going in anyhow.

I got in and held his hand for the whole time until we got to the hospital.

Cindy had gone in the other ambulance with Nick.

We got to the hospital and they took Ryan out and was still holding his hand.

“I’m sorry miss, you can’t go in” A doctor told me when we reached a metal door.

“No, let me go, I have to be with him” I said trying to get past him.

“I’m sorry, you can’t go in”  They said.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It’s been three days since the incident at the cabin happened.

Ryan was still in the hospital unconscious and apparently in a coma as the doctors told us.

I felt like I wasn’t alive.

A lot of people had gotten hurt because of me. When I saw Ryan fall to the floor because he got shot I felt like I was the one shot, but guess what? It happened because of me.

If he is going through all of that, is all because of me. I caused all this.

I wouldn’t forgive myself if Ryan ends up dying because of me.

“Stop beating yourself up, it’s not your fault” I heard Nick say.

Oh right. Nick got shot on his arm also.

I’m sure I’ve said ‘because of me’ a lot, but it’s the truth.

“Yes it is” I said.

“No it’s not, stop blaming yourself for everything, things happened but no one died which is the good thing” Nick said.

“But people got hurt” I said.

Nick sighed. “Cindy just get her some coffee”.

Cindy nodded and before going out she asked, “You coming with me?”.

I nodded, kissing Nick on the cheek before going out.

“See you later” I said.

Nick smiled and said, “Take it easy”.

I gave him a half smile and instead of going to get coffee, Cindy and I went to visit Ryan.

A nurse was coming out of his room and smiled at us.

“Can we go in?” I asked.

She smiled and said, “Yes, of course”.

I smiled at her and went in.

He had a mask on his face and then I noticed he looked extremely pale. There were needles all over his left arm and I could see the bandages on his stomach through the vest he had on.

The machines were beeping and it was making me nervous. What if they stopped beeping?.

Cindy was standing by the door looking at him and then at me. Trying to give us some privacy.

I sat down next to him and grabbed his right hand.

“Ryan, if you can hear me, I want you to know, that we all miss you, you need to come back, you hear me” I said holding back the tears.

“Especially me, I miss you very much” I said making a pause so tears wouldn’t come out. “Thank you for saving my life, I will always thank you for that” I added.

I saw him jump a little then saw his eyes moving and felt him grab my hand a little tight.

I got up and a tear left my eye because I thought he would finally wake up.

Then suddenly, the machines started beeping faster by the second. I looked back at Ryan who was still as a rock and then doctors burst into the door.

Cindy and I just stayed in the corner letting the doctors do their job.

I was so shocked that didn’t notice Cindy holding me from behind.

“Quick, get me the ICD” A doctor yelled.

They gave a few electric shots and I saw Ryan’s body jump up from the contact. By now tears were coming out without me being able to stop it.

Then the machines stopped beeping and a straight line came across the monitors, with an annoying sound.

The doctor wiped his forehead and sighed.

“We lost him” He said.

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VFC!!! :D

What did you guys think of this chapter? :D

Ryan pic to the side>>> :)(:

Btw. I made a trailer for this story. Feel free to check it out. it's on my profile. (: I would appreciate it if you guys do :D