Lonely lovers (Antisepticeye x Reader)

Breathe Me

I locked myself away in my office. Anti was not so pleased but understood my reasoning and my pain. But he wouldn't stop checking on me. It was night and i was extremely tired but refused to sleep.

I growl hearing him knock on the door, "Princess, please.... can i talk to you for a little while, or at least get a hug" he begs, "i miss you and im worried sick.... please" his soft voice breaking my heart every time i heard it crack

"No! Please just go away! I'll come out when i feel that im ready" i answer clutching to the clothes that covered my chest. I hoped he would just kick down the door and yell at me or hit me or something to punish me for what i did and yet he refuses to.

I storm out of my office and walk straight up to him in anger but not at him at myself, "listen here you little glitch bitch! Im gettin sick and tired of you thinking i want you in my life why wont you just leave!" I yell my words sinking venom into his veins, "you're the reason all of this happened the reason for all my pain! If you care so much about me then leave!" I continue to yell

Anti's brows furrow as he listens to me ramble before he quickly grabs my wrist and yanks me closer, "I wouldn't say such things if i were you!" He growls

"Oh boo hoo, what got your lil boxers up in a bunch? If you're so fuckin mad why dont you hit me or torture me like you normally do or am i just not good enough for even that" i growl watching him grow angrier

Anti lets go of me and walks away. I go to say something but he's already walking back with a large dagger in his hand, "if you so desperately want pain than tell me why and I'll do it" he says with a smirk

"Because i fucking want to call your bluff you lying, cheating, bastard!" I growl at him before i feel a sharp pain in my hip. i grab onto his shirt as i try to stay standing, "nothing elaborate really? You just want it plain and simple" i ask with a chuckle as i take one hand and grab at the knife and slowly start twisting it i hold every sound inside but i want to sob from the pain, i want to curl up and cry but i simply just smile as i bury my head in his chest.

He gently grabs my hand and grips the knife tightly in his palm before ripping it out, "what is wrong with you" he says softly but clearly panicking inside

"Oh dont be such a wuss all of a sudden, fuckin hit me or something what happened to the big scary guy you've always been threatening me whenever i do anything!" I growl confused on how he had become so different

"Y/n please what is going on" he begs for an answer

"God damnit dont you get it!" I growl in anger, "why arent you hitting me! If you want me out of my office then fucking throw me out of it!" I growl as i manage to limp back into the office before collapsing. I crawl to the drawer with my first aid kit and patch up my wound i want to cry i was in so much pain but the tears would not spill. I simply just sat on the floor with my head in my hands.

"Why do you keep punishing yourself.... you've been like this for two weeks you need to take a deep breath and forgive yourself" he says softly as he kneels down in front of me

"Oh thats so easy for you to say asshole! You don't understand and you never will!" I yell in frustration as i look up at him with fire behind my eyes

"Y/n.... please, i know you want an explanation but i cant give it to you" he says with a sigh, "you're not a monster, one day you'll understand everything" he says pulling me close but his touch feels like static like a million tiny electric shocks stinging and eating at my skin it as if he was strangling me as i was so uncomfortable i couldn't breathe.

I quickly push him away panicking, "dont touch me!" I scream as i push him away and wrap my arms around myself

He sighs and stands up, "come on, i have somethin i wanna show you" he says softly as he reaches out his hand to me

Cautiously i take his hand and he pulls me up before our surroundings change in a millisecond and we're in the middle of a forest but the sound of water whispering to me tells me theres a river near us. In the dark of the night i felt safe with the silence that was only filled by nature and peace.

"Close your eyes for just a second alright?" He asks as my gently grabs my hands and places them over my face. Anxiety spikes but a take a deep breath and wait a few seconds, "alright open your eyes" he says softly his voice echoing from behind me.

I remove my hands and there's the river, fireflies dance along it and i can see their reflection in the water that was accompanied by the reflection of the starts and the moon. The beauty had captivated me and left me star struck, "why did you take me here?" I ask before i feel his hands wrap around my waist from behind as he leans his body against mine and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Because.... this gentle brook has killed people, many people have drowned in this river, and even though it may seem dangerous and deadly its not a monster, its a beautiful angel that is under appreciated because of its violent history" he speaks in a soft tone almost a whisper but not quite he kisses my neck softly as we just stand and watch the night sky.

Before i realize it im sitting in his lap already beginning to doze off.