5sos Imagines

Eating Disorder - Calum

This one's for dears0ciety. Enojoy!

Kaden:

I looked at myself in the mirror, picking out every possible flaw I could find. Why couldn't I be like all those other girls who can eat whatever they want and still have a perfect body? All I wanted was to be perfect, was that really too much to ask for?

"Watcha looking at Kae?" my brother, Calum, asked.

"Nothinggg."

"Really? Then why have you been standing in front if that mirror for the past half hour?"

"Ummm... ambiance?"

"Do you even know what that means because that's not it."

"What are you a dictionary now?"

"No, but I have a feeling I know what's going on here Kae. I'm just hoping I'm wrong."

"Whatever. Now get out of my room," I whined, pushing him out the door, well more like tired to, I swear, sometimes I wonder if he's made of bricks or something.

"Okay okay I'm leaving, geez," he raised his arms in mock surrender making his way to the door and stopping for a second and saying, "I'm not stupid Kae, I know what you doing and I'm not going to just stand by and let you go through this alone," he spoken sounding genuinely concerned, which I'm sure he was. I swear he can read me better than books sometimes.

"GET OUT STUPID!" I yelled chucking a pillow at him.

In case it wasn't clear before, I was beyond frustrated, not so much because he could see right through my lies, but more that he wouldn't just leave me the fuck alone.

"Fine, I'm leaving you dont have to yell, geez woman," he muttered under his breath finally leaving.

I slammed the door shut, locking it before faceplanting onto my bed and crying my eyes out. I was sick and tired of pretending. I was just done. There was so much yet nothing going on all at the same time. My mind was a huge storm of emotions and I couldn't handle it. But I had to, it's not like I could just take all those emotions out of my head and throw them out the window. I wanted to die at this moment hut I wasn't stupid enough to make any rash decisions. Why'd I have to be this way? I just wanted to be happy with myself. Happy with life. I was tired of always feeling like shit about myself. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be able to wear a dress and not care about the way I looked. I wished none of those superficial nonsense would tear me down, but they did. They fucking messed with my head and pulled me to the bottom of the fucking ocean. So much for hope I guess.

As I was having my little breakdown or whatever you wanna call it, I felt the bed dip beside me and arms wrap around me into a much needed hug. I didn't need to look to know who it was. It was Calum, I could tell because he never forced me to explain myself when I was upset. He would let me have my moment, never leaving me, and this time was no different.

Once I calmed down a bit, the two of us talked for a while until we said everything that needed to be said and spent the rest of the night watching movies and just chilling.

*Honestly have no idea if any of that made any sense. Sorry if its bbn kinda crappy still tryna get into the swing of writing these :)*