dreaming || cube [complete]

twenty

[edited]

M E L ' S P O V

I got back in late last night, and I didn't really know how I felt. I didn't anticipate dreaming at night anymore, I'd finally realized that happy things can actually occur in reality. But I felt kind of empty, I was just very clueless as to what to do.

I put all my clothes from my suitcase in the washing machine and went to the kitchen. I grabbed a bag of Doritos and headed to my computer. I realized I hadn't uploaded anything in around a month, so I decided to film a vlog to clear things up. I pulled out my phone and started recording.

"Hello there, my lovelies. So, I've got some explaining to do.", I said as I cracked Doritos in my mouth and spun around in my chair.

"I haven't uploaded anything in almost month, and I am so incredibly sorry for that. Right after this vlog is uploaded, I'll post a Cube episode and some SG if I can find anyone to record with. But now I'm going to try and explain what's being going on. However, I'm not throwing out any names, because I don't want any drama or hate on any of them.", I said, beginning to pace around.

"So during PAX, a member and I began dating. We did announce this at our panel, so I'm sure you can find a video on YouTube if you're really that curious. Anyways, at the PAX Party, another member told me he loved me. I told him that I was dating someone, but he interrupted me and proceeded to kiss me. My boyfriend saw, called me a slut without letting me explain, and ran off with a girl who he was not very close to at the time. This all hit me very hard. At that point, all I had was my best friend."

"The next morning on the way to the airport, I saw cuts on the arms of the boy who told me he loved me the night before. I knew I was the cause of his cuts, which also hit me."

"At the airport, I told my best friend that the guy's cutting and that I love him. We kissed. I got home to LA and went to get my cats from the people who were taking care of them. Unfortunately, they told me they had escaped. This pretty much broke me."

"I called over one of my new friend's to help me, and she did. She got me out of this small dip of depression and I was great. Literally two minutes after she left, I got a Teamspeak call from my best friend whom I'd kissed. He told me the boy that was cutting had committed suicide right on Teamspeak. And that put me back in a bad place. I'm the reason he killed himself, I told him he ruined my life after he kissed me. I then flew to my best friend and he helped me. You know who you are. If you're watching this, thank you. I'm not sure where I'd be right now if you didn't let me fly to you."

"Now, I'm still not in the best place of mind, so my videos may still be infrequent. But I just want you to know that I have seen what you guys have been tweeting me, and I can't thank you enough. I got endless support while I was gone, and that is amazing. Each and every one of you mean so much to me. So, just know that when you feel like no one would care if you left the world, I would. You guys are the best things that have ever happened to me, I love every single one of you. Thank you, bye.", I said, and I was sobbing by the end of the video.

I began rendering the video and leave it private. I filmed a 15-minute-long Cube episode of me mostly looking around spawn. While I let that render, I got onto Teamspeak. I got onto the main channel and just listen to all the happiness and laughter. I hadn't heard any laughter or felt very happy in the past few days.

"Oh hey, Melanie!", Zach acknowledged me first.

"Hey, Zach.", I said.

"Woah, why so sad, little Melanie?", Brayden asked.

"I just haven't had the best of days lately. I was actually wondering if one or two of you guys wanted to record some Hunger Games with me."

"Ooh, me me me!", Parker yelled first.

"And me! Pybzi and Melanie!", TYBZI exclaimed.

"Okay cool. I'll see you guys in another room, then.", I said and joined another channel. A few seconds later, Parker and Mike joined.

"Hey Melanie! Are you ready?", Parker asked.

"Yep, let me join Mineplex. I'm in lobby 26. Invite me to a party, please.", I said.

"Okay, but if we're going to record with you, you need to act excited! You're recording with the one and only Pybzi! Just make sure you have fun.", TYBZI said happily.

"Will do!", I said in a happier voice. We all joined a match and I began recording.

"Hello there, my lovelies! Today we are playing some SG with Pybzi!", I exclaimed.

"Woo! Yea!", they yelled, making me chuckle.

"So how does it feel to be recording with me, guys?", TYBZI asked.

"It's actually pretty terrible. I only really wanted to record with Parker, but you insisted on Pybzi.", I said jokingly.

"Yea, the Pybzi ship has sunk, Marker has set sail!", Parker yelled.

"Oh my gosh, my OTP has always been Marker! And now it's cannoning?! This is amazing.", I exclaimed.

"Aw, c'mon guys! Can I at least be the third wheel?", TYBZI asked.

"Nope, we are a bycicle, we dont need no tricycle wheel!", Parker said in a ghetto voice, making me laugh.

"Nah, you guys are Pybzi. I'll ship myself with Doritos.", I said, hugging the bag of chips.

We finished up a few games, and I felt so much better. Parker and Mike are definitely the best people to record with when you are feeling down.