Caitlyn's POV
My recovery is going smooth and I am feeling so much better but my anxiety has gotten worse and that is having a huge impact on me and becoming worse and worse. Thank god for Ben, he knows I'm not feeling the best and he always around for me. I can never sleep anymore, Ben doesn't know that after he falls asleep I go downstairs and have a glass of wine or maybe more and watch TV. Sometimes I get too drunk and end up crying myself to sleep and now I fear that I will go through the same thing when I was pregnant with the twins. Tonight was one of those nights where the slightest noise will scare me and then causing me now to sleep.
I am downstairs, in the kitchen sitting on a barstool drinking my 3rd glass of wine and watching the mini TV in the kitchen, it was around about 2:35 in the morning and I wasn't feeling tired, I just felt like crying and try to drink more to clear my worries away, but its not working i still feel the same. I pick up the bottle of wine and fill up my glass
"Cheers to no sleep," I said lifting my glass in the air and then taking a sip
Ben knows I have anxiety but he doesn't know what goes on when he is not around and I feel so guilty for not telling him because I know he will blame himself for not looking after me if anything happens.
I check the time on my phone it is now 4 am but I cannot be stuffed going back upstairs to sleep so I rested my head on the counter and closed my eyes, I didn't think about how Ben will find me here tomorrow with a half filled glass of wine near my head and an empty bottle as well, i honestly didn't care anymore I just need sleep!
***
"Caity?" I felt someone shake my arm very gently
"Go away! I'm trying to sleep!" I turn my head from the person
"Caity, We need to talk" it was Ben, well who else would it be
"What's the time?"
"5:45" Ben replies and I let out an annoyed moan
"Carry me to our bedroom will you love?" I said putting my arms out for him to carry me
He picks me up bridal style and starts taking me to the bedroom. I was having a fit of laughter. I am pretty sure I am still drunk. He lays me on my side of the bed and covers me with the sheets
"You look so cute when you are annoyed," I say and tap his nose
"your drunk Princess. Go to sleep and I will deal with you later" He said kissing my forehead
"You dont want to join me, love? I know I have been making you wait so long and all you want is to have me naked in your arms and-" I was about to finish my sentence but ben cut me off
"Caity you are drunk and you know you are. Go to sleep and when you wake up have a shower and take some pain killers"
"But Beeeeeeeen!" I let out a small whine
"I can't sleep when you're not holding my waist at night," I said making a pouting face
"Ok fine! Move over babe" He said and i do what he said
He gets in next me and turns my back to him, he puts his hands around my waist and pulls me closer to him
"Dont leave me Ben," I said, i always felt safer when Ben was around
"I wont baby" he said kissing the top of my hair as i felt alseep in his arms
