Another Reason to Love

chapter 12

The seasons were changing, however, you wouldn't have been able to tell by living in Miami. It took Camila a little bit longer to get into the Christmas spirit this year, even though the holiday season had been bursting at the seams in most stores and on the radio for a month now. Most of the reason was that both she and Lauren had been busy with work and Brooklyn. It seemed crazy to her that time could move so quickly. It seemed like just yesterday that their rambunctious little girl appeared on their doorstep for the first time. It was even more strange that at this time next year, they could have another little one.

The other reason it had been hard for her to feel the natural joy and hope that comes with the holiday season was the whole baby situation. Lauren had been going to see doctors constantly for the past few months since she had been cleared fertility-wise. They had already had two failed attempts at artificial insemination and yesterday, Lauren went in for their third and final try.

She didn't think she would ever forget the look on Lauren's face when they first found out that the artificial insemination had not worked. She knew how it felt to feel as though you were to blame. There were nights when Camila would hold Lauren in her arms and they would both cry, wondering why it had to be so difficult. Some couples had children unexpectedly. That would never be the case for them. Camila silently cursed the people who didn't understand how good they had it.

The phone in her pocket buzzed and she mindlessly took it out. Lauren's name was flashing across the screen. She smiled to herself. It was amazing after all of these years, just the sight of her wife's name caused her to feel warm inside. She pressed the button to answer and put it up to her ear. "Lauren Jauregui, it's quite nice to hear from you. I thought for sure you'd been tied up by Brooks."

Lauren laughed into the phone. "I'm only calling because she finally decided to stop fighting her nap. I'm exhausted, babe. So ready for us all to be home together."

Camila heard the exhaustion in her wife's voice and felt a pang of guilt for not being there. "I'll be home soon, okay? I've just got to pick up a few more things on our gift list and I'll come straight there."

"It's okay, Camz. Take your time. She's sleeping so I'm going to take this opportunity to do the same. Would you mind to pick up a pizza on your way home? There is no way I'm going to be up for cooking dinner tonight."

"Sure! You know i'll never pass up an opportunity for pizza," Camila said, laughing into the phone. There was a pause at the other end and Camila felt compelled to ask another question. "Laur, are you doing okay?"

Lauren knew what Camila was referencing and it wasn't her lack of sleep. "Yeah, I'm tired but I'm also just very anxious to find out if we're going to have a baby." There was no need hiding her true thoughts from her wife. She knew them anyway.

"I have a good feeling about this one. Either way, we're going to have a great Christmas. Can you believe it's just in a few days? Let's just try to focus on that," Camila said although she was hardly any stronger than Lauren was at this point and her wife was well aware of that.

"Okay," Lauren said. "I'm going to get off the phone so I can take a nap while she's still sleeping. I'll see you in a little while, babe."

"I love you," Camila said, sincerely feeling like those were the words her wife needed to hear.

"I love you too," Lauren said in response. Camila sensed that even though she couldn't see her, Lauren was now smiling.

*****

"Brooks, come and let's learn a new song," Camila said as they had finished their pizza and Lauren was clearing the table of the dirty dishes.

The little girl reached her arms out so that Camila could pick her up and they walked into the living room. Camila purposefully fell so that both of them landed comfortably on the sofa. "Mama, you're silly!" Brooklyn shouted.