Falling for the Goalie and Other Dangerous Sports

Chapter 28 - Maddy

Rain from the previous storm was still soaking in my cleats. I had forgotten to put newspaper in them last night. "Shit." I whispered under my breath.

Checking the clock, I saw it was only 9:00. I had seven hours before practice.

I took my cleats outside and started to pick away at the mud. Everything had a gross wet smell to it. Shiny, clumped leaves littered the road in front of my house. In the distance, the colorful tree line was losing its thickness and vibrancy. The crisp fall air felt good on my face. Fall has always been my favorite season, mostly because the trees turned pretty colors, and the weather was always decent. Soccer started too. And school, I guess that's the only con.

I spent the day watching tv, doing laundry, illegally downloading music to express my anger, that kind of thing. You know. I liked a lot of different music, so downloading screamo next to some instrumental music is completely normal. The rest of the time leading up to leaving was pretty boring. Aimee got to my house at 3:30, ten minutes earlier than she had told me the night before.

"Sorry if we caught you off guard," her mother said in a cheerful voice. "I've got somewhere to be at four, so I'm dropping you gals off early." The car accelerated quickly; I'm positive past the speed limit. I gave a questioning look to Aimee, who just rolled her eyes. My phone buzzed, with a text from her.

date night with dad. yuck.

I smiled a little and stuck my tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes even more dramatically.

We arrived at the field a predicted ten minutes early. The only ones there were Coach Dublin, Coach Reed, and Jarod and Wyatt of course. We sat and chatted about the upcoming tournament we were all excited for at Bridesdale, mostly just the water park.

"I heard they have, like, the biggest tube slide in any indoor water park."

"I heard they have a 6 lane water slide race."

"I heard they have a two-story arcade."

"OhgodI'msoexcited." Aimee said, mushing her words together. I returned to staring at the field. It had quite the hill in the middle, meaning it's crowned. The ball would be rolling out of bounds a lot.

Aimee suddenly sat straight up. Focusing on Coach Reed getting balls out from her trunk. "I'm going to help take stuff down to the field." Her and Wyatt started to get up.

"Wait, we can help," I replied, glancing to Jarod who nodded. We were about to get up too, but the two of them responded in unison.

"No!"

Jarod and I exchanged a glance. "Um, okay..." I said cautiously. They turned without another thought, talking to one another with quick hand gestures. "Weird." I plopped back in my seat.

"Agreed." Things fell quiet as I returned to my staring. I never talked to Jarod a lot, mostly because he's a quiet kid. He spoke up again. "Did you hear about this team?"

"...Hear what?"

"They have two girls."

That took me by surprise. I was almost certain we were the only co-ed team. I tried to remember playing on an all girls team last year. I did get bruised up a lot as a center defender. Girls were sure aggressive.

"I'm hoping you four are going to kick their asses though."

"Me too. Girls can get aggressive."

"More aggressive than you?"

I pondered the question. "No. Probably not."

Jarod got out his phone. "Hopefully. One of the girls went to a correctional facility." My heart skipped a beat and I began to get nervous. I got the feeling she's going to pull out a pocket knife and kill me on the field. The bloodbath scene of the Hunger Games popped into my mind. "Dear lord, Maddy, I'm kidding. You got as white as a ghost." Jarod added, chuckling.

I tried to frown, but smiled a little and tapped his cleat with my spike. "Shut up."

"Really though. You four are slaughtering machines, I'm scared you'll blow up the field like six land mines."

"Thanks, I suppose." I laughed nervously, suddenly wishing I didn't have this information. My bladder surged. "I've got to go to the bathroom. Where is it?" I asked.

He narrowed his eyes and smirked a little, knowing I had gotten so nervous I had to pee. "Over by that small line of trees."

"Thanks," I said hurriedly. I got up calmly, and until I could see him return to his phone and a couple other just arriving teammates, I sped-walked to the port-a-potty. By chance, I saw the two girls juggling with each other across the field. The brunette one had to be 5' 6" at least and the blond one looked like she was a bulldozer. Oh no oh no oh no.

I was approaching the toilet when I heard...laughing, that snapped me out of my thoughts. Girly laughing. Giggling. The port-a-potty wasn't rocking, was it? No. In the miniature forest, a head with a mass of black hair poked out from behind a tree. "Stop that! We're going to get found out."

"No."

"Wyatt!"

More giggling, and a weird little heightened noise, Aimee of course, slipped my way. I really need to go now.

I pulled open the door quietly, locked it, and sat. I began to feel lonely again, not inside a port-a-potty lonely, but actually lonely. What in god's name were they doing, I don't want to know. Yet it reminded me of Derek taking me to his little running hideout and having to cram onto a toilet, all squished and hug like. The sound of them passing by leaked into the restroom. I had to stop thinking about him, and about whatever Aimee and Wyatt were doing. The 5' 6" girl passed through my mind instead, and I just knew this was going to be a rough game. I got some hand sanitizer and headed straight out onto the field, warming up and getting ready to start the game.

But rough had been an understatement.

The blond girl's forceful arm whacked into my side time after time. I dug my cleat into her toe. She pinched my arm hard. The corner kick went up, but way too far over the goal. Mark cleared it to up field, where Kendall got things under control.

"Watch yourself. I'll snap you like a twig if I have to." The slightly smaller but larger blond girl walked away, waiting for the ball to come down field again.

Things were going dandy otherwise. A 3-0 lead, five minutes left, and Derek hadn't bothered me one bit. He barely even acknowledged me. It was as if I didn't even exist, as if I meant nothing. But...this didn't feel right. Not at all. But I'm the one who pushed him away, I'm the one that doesn't want anything to do with him. Scarlett could have him for all I...all I...oh no. I still care, don't I? I still care about the motherfucker. No, I don't. I can't. It's forbidden.

Knocking heads. Electric shock. The punch. Suspension. Car ride. Bathrooms. Lavender fields. Hoodies with cologne. Chocolate bars. Hands on waists. Blushing. Foreheads touching. Everything, everything, everything. I turned around, and there he stood, watching the field. Messy brown hair, expressionless face and those damn green eyes. My feet started toward him but his eyes cut quickly to meet with mine, completely empty and void of all expression.

Parents cheers made me whip my head around to find the tall brunette charging towards me with the ball. I waited for her to come to, moving my feet and getting ready to tackle. She veered left and I followed her, staying on her back as she tried to get a cross or pass off. I got an elbow to the stomach, causing bile to move up my throat. She passed to a boy on the outside. I backtracked as he skillfully dribbled the ball past Grayson. I sprinted across and directed Grayson towards the middle. He was just about to cross it when I slid my leg out wildly, causing it to ricochet out of bounds. I picked myself up and pulled up my socks, going back towards the goal for the corner kick.

I directed my outsides to the posts, naming numbers of unmanned players as everyone scrambled. This team wasn't letting these 2 minutes go by without a fight.

The kick went up, catching me off guard. The tall brunette appeared in front of me as the ball was heading towards the penalty line. Everything slowed as I realized Derek was battling with another defender, and the entire right side of the goal was wide open. She trapped the ball at her feet, turning to kick as I acted, rushing towards her. She wound up and shot a rocket, but I had managed to get my stomach in the way first. The bile that had traveled up my throat from before had started to burn intensely. I clutched my stomach, crouching, absolutely gasping for oxygen. My vision faded in and out, my body feeling as if it was collapsing from the inside out.

The whistle sounded. I forced myself up, determined not to let the brunette getting any satisfaction from injuring me. Grayson jogged over and patted me on the back, asking "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "Not dead."

He still looked concerned. "Okay." He started talking to Zane and walked away. I glanced over my shoulder at Derek. He ripped off his gloves and started talking to Wyatt, no acknowledgement whatsoever. I stopped that for him and he didn't even ask if I was okay. I started to feel an indescribable mix of loneliness and rage. I don't why, it's my fault he's ignoring me. But he's done nothing. He's truly done with you. After all I've went through, he's dumping me with no explanation, publicly, in front of the team. Toying with my emotion like a cat with yarn. Caring only, and only about himself.

Now I am furious.

I shook the other team's hands, the brunette staring me down. I ignored it and gathered by bag. Mom was picking me up, but she texted me saying she'd be late (again). Walking to the other end of the field, I sat on a picnic bench and waited. Waited. People filtered out, I said my goodbyes and good jobs, and waited. And by Satan's own command, Derek's ride was late too.

There was only one other picnic table directly adjacent to me. I watched as he started walking towards it, towards me, phone in hand. He smiled down at his phone. And I just couldn't help myself anymore.

I marched over and knocked the phone out of his hands. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted.

He didn't miss a beat. "What...what is wrong with me?You've got to be kidding with me right now." He dropped his bag and threw his arms up, yelling at no one in particular. "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME GOD, PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS!"

I yanked his shoulder around so he was facing me. "You can't fucking leave me hanging like this!" I screamed. I could feel my blood boiling.

"What are you talking about!?"

"Why won't you talk to me about this? Why won't you man up -"

"Excuse me?" He came closer to me. I stepped back. "Well, if I remember correctly, you're the one who didn't want to talk about it, you're the one who refused to communicate with me. I kissed Scarlet. It happened. I get suspended for you, I ran miles because you BETRAYED me, I lose sleep over you, and, I try to talk to you about it but you won't hear a word of it."

My stomach dropped, but my blood felt as if it was evaporating now. "What were you going to tell me? You tripped and your tongue fell into her mouth?! WHAT EXPLANATION IS THERE?!"

"DAMMIT MADDY!" Derek yelled, a volume inhumanly loud. He crouched and faced the field. Things were strangely quiet for a minute. Derek's sighed a heavy sigh and his head dropped. I just wanted to fight. I wanted him to get back up and start screaming so I could scream back, louder, worse words. But he stood up quickly and walked a few steps over to me, putting a hand on my arm. "I just -"

I slapped it down. "Don't you dare touch me."

He seemed to stop. Everything seemed to stop. Slowly, his green eyes met mine. A very, silent plead, and then a very, strong fury. For a second I thought he would shove me or scream in my face, do something, anything, but then he said tranquilly, "I'm done."

The air ran out of my lungs, unexpectedly. "Wh-what?" I stuttered, trying to maintain my anger. "W-what did you say to me--"

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

My torrent of emotions all complied into one particular feeling: fear.

"...Done...done with...?"

"With you, Maddy."

He didn't say another word. His gaze fell, and he picked up his phone, his bag, and left without another word.

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I sat at home and waited for mom to get her things together. It was a rather late Saturday practice for some reason, but it's not like I had plans anyway. I stared off into space, thinking about nothing in particular.

"Let's go sweetie." I followed mom out to the car and buckled myself in the front. I am dead weight inside, it feels like.

"Yes, you don't seem quite like yourself. What's on your mind?" Mom asked. I turned to face her, shaking myself out of a daze.

"What?"

"You said you feel like a dead weight."

I cursed my head for thinking out loud again. "I don't know. Just tired probably."

"Is it about that Derek boy?"

My body froze, but then relaxed. "Yes."

"What happened?"

"I mean..." I didn't want to explain this whole situation to my Mom. "It's complicated."

Her mouth pressed into a concerned line. "Well...do you want to talk about it?"

"No thanks." Mom pulled up to the field and I began to get my stuff out. "It's alright."

"Okay sweetie. Try and have a good practice."

"I will. Bye mom, love you."

"Love you too."

I closed the door and heaved the bag higher onto my shoulder. I looked down, and didn't notice everyone sitting in an orderly circle. Dakota picked at her fingernails, Nate pulled up grass, Oliver picked at his socks. I dropped my bag and sat down in between Aimee and Kendall. "Uh, what's going on?"

"We're having a team meeting," Coach Dublin said. She sat next to her son.

"About the tournament?" I asked.

"About the team. Zane said he couldn't make it tonight so we'll start now." She nervously adjusted her sweatpants a little. "Now, we have been winning some good games lately. You've all been working hard and doing a fantastic job, and I commend you. However, I think we all agree we are a group of players on the field, and not quite a team. So I'm going to leave the floor open for discussion." A silence passed, all of us exchanging confused looks. "Anyone? Anyone have something we could maybe improve on?"

Oliver stopped his sock picking and piped up. "I think we need to pass the ball more often. Too many times one person tries to dribble through a whole defense and we lose the ball."

"Excellent point Oliver. Offense - Kendall, Aimee, Heather, Dakota, Carter, Jarod - do you have anything to add?"

"I definitely think, as an offense, we need to communicate more." Heather pulled up a thick blade of grass and examined it. "There's so many passes that could lead to opportunities that we're missing."

"I think it's because the outside mids don't have their eyes up enough, honestly," Kendall added. "We call for the ball, but you never seem to hear us."

"Maybe you should yell louder then." Aimee stared Kendall down.

"Maybe there could be a little less drama on this team if -"

"I think the defense is at fault too," Dakota interjected. Coach looked complacent. "I mean Maddy and Derek are like a nuclear warhead waiting to blow."

My heart rate sped up and I felt my face get hot.

"Good point..." Coach trailed off, hoping someone would pick up the tab. Things remained quiet for a moment. Dakota stopped her picking and glanced around the circle.

"Are you kidding? We all know they want to rip each other's throats out but Derek's one hell of a goalie and Maddy's a brick wall, but they can't spend a minute on the field with each other without wanting to spill blood."

There was a pause. "I just don't understand why you two don't work together well." Wyatt looked at me and Derek, across and to my right. "Or why you won't."

"Some people just don't get along," Derek said, shooting daggers at Wyatt. "I try to leave everything at the sideline and be in the game with an empty mind."

"I do too, but when your goalie doesn't think your center defender can defend," I paused. "Then she can't help but be a little angered."

"When your goalie tries to tell your center defender to do something, to give her a little direction, and she REFUSES to listen, then...there's just no hope for the goalie." He stopped and pulled a hair off his shirt. "I could do fine without a center defender."

"You couldn't win a game without me if you had another set of arms." I stated. A deafening silence went about the circle.

Wyatt hesitantly spoke up. "I think...you need a center defender...but more importantly, the defense has to work together. As a whole. The goalie and center defender need to communicate with one another. The center defender needs to communicate that to her outsides and stopper, if needed, and if things just go that way everything would be dandy and we wouldn't be having this stupid meeting."

I waited for Coach to interject but she had gone to talk to Coach Reed, glancing over every once in awhile atop the hill to supervise. I unleashed.

"Derek, you need to quit blaming me for everything that goes wrong," I said. "It's not always my fault."

"Really now?" His voice dripped with sarcasm and I got an incredibly strong urge to punch him. "Corner kicks, suspension, turning me in..."

"Don't pull this again, I already heard your pathetic testimony yesterday," I sneered. "Just save it."

"Actually no, you didn't, because you wouldn't let me get a word out -"

"I don't need an explanation from you, I already know what happened -"

"No you don't, there's more to it than what it looks like, I tried -"

"Trying doesn't count!" I yelled, standing up. I swallowed nervously. I had completely forgotten the whole team was watching us.

"Then what does? What does, Maddy?" Derek stood up and walked towards me until we were face to face. "Because I can't figure it out, and the only other option is to not try. Which I attempted yesterday, but you're bringing it back up, in front of the whole team, mind you. You're just embarrassing yourself. And you're beating a dead horse."

We were almost nose to nose now. I looked him straight in the eye, my fists clenched. "I hate you."

"What?"

"I said I hate you!" I shouted, shoving him as hard as I could backward. "You're just an arrogant jock who has nothing to do except ruin girls and focus on your stupid reputation. You are a self-centered, egotistical jerk who can't accept the fact he's WRONG once in awhile, god forbid he's actually done something WRONG for once, and I HATE YOU!" I screamed violently. Out of the corner of my eye, Coach Dublin was approaching us aggressively.

"HEY!" She put herself between the two of us, about to fight again. "You two, follow me, NOW." Coach was as mad as I've ever seen and probably ever will see her. She led us to the barn a ways behind the goal. I snuck a peek over at him as we walked, his face complete stone. I hate him. I hate him.

We came to the barn doors. Coach opened one and ushered us inside. Windows let in plenty of light, leaving a menacing shadow behind Coach Dublin.

"I'm sick and tired of you two butting heads all the time. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I cannot have you on this team if you're going to act like this. You are going to stay in here and not come out until you've resolved whatever issue you have." She started to close the barn door. "Now FIX IT."