Troubled Youth // A Violentine High School AU

Chapter XIV: Give Me A Reason

{ Inspiration for this chapter from the song above. As well as a couple others (One other one being If You Want Love by NF). Time to get sad, but I will attempt to help them make amends, dont worry. }

Pain.

Violet could see it in Clementine's eyes. She knew that she fucked up and she felt sick to her stomach. What could she even say to explain herself at this point?

Minerva quickly backed up from Violet. "Shit, I'm sorry." She mumbled, only enough for the two girls to hear.

Suddenly, Clementine's expression changed and a smile appeared on her face. She shook her head and turned around. Her heart felt like it just got ripped out of her chest. Hot tears stung at her eyes as she quickly pushed her way through the people that stood in her way. Eventually, she made it back to where the rest of them were and they could tell something was wrong. "Hey, I'm getting tired of this party. I'm just going to walk home." She notified them, trying to seem perfectly okay.

"What about Violet? Isn't she your ride?" Sophie questioned. Clementine went to go look for Violet and ended up appearing without her. Something was wrong.

Clementine wanted to let out all of her feelings at once, but wasn't going to put her friends through that. She wanted to scream and take her anger out.

Betrayal.

That's the only thing she felt at that moment. "She's um... she's busy." Clementine explained through gritted teeth. Clementine went to turn and met Violet's sorry expression. Minerva was standing beside her girlfriend. She shook her head and tried to push past the two of them, but Violet gently grabbed her arm only for her to violently tug it away. "Dont. Fucking. Touch. Me." Clementine hissed which made Violet feel like she was shrinking.

"Please, let me explain."

"You don't need to. I saw what I had to." Clementine laughed, only a little hysterically.

The rest of the group was confused.

"It was my fault! Please, just hear her out." Minerva pleaded. She felt bad about this for some reason. She thought that she hated Clementine, but seeing both of them hurt brought out her empathy.

"Damn right it is!" Clementine shot back. Her knuckles were white from clenching her fists really tight.

Violet took a step closer to Clementine, only for Clementine to take a step back. She didn't want to be near her right now. "I.. I don't know why I did that. Everything happened so fast and I... Shit, fuck this alcohol." Violet face palmed, only to regret saying that.

"Oh! Yeah, right, fucking alcohol makes you have a ten second makeout session with your ex-girlfriend. Alcohol makes you hurt the one person who thought you loved them. Alcohol is the issue here, isnt it?" Clementine's tone was full of venom. Every word that came out of her mouth was like a stab to Violet's heart. If eyes could kill, Violet would be six feet under.

"Is that true?" The rest of them said in unison. They would have never thought Violet would do something like that, it wasn't in her nature.

"I just, I can't explain. Please, let's just talk." Violet couldn't put her thoughts into words. She loved Clementine too much to put into words, but she fucked up.

Minerva stepped forward. "I told her why I did what I did and what is going to happen after we graduate. That wasn't her cheating on you or whatever you are thinking. It wasn't us making up, it was a fucking goodbye." Minerva frowned, not liking that Clementine wouldn't just stop and listen for a damned second.

Clementine was only slightly offended by the way Minerva was talking to her. She understood what that all was about now, but she had no reason to forgive Violet for not pulling away. Clementine's mind was going fuzzy and her face was hot. "Give me a solid reason to not end things with you right now." Clementine focused her cold stare on Violet now who was almost breaking down in tears. Something in her hated seeing her like that, but she hurt her more than Violet could even imagine.

"Because I love you. I would do anything for you, if I could take it back I would! Please, I need to explain." Violet looked at her with pleading eyes. "We can go back to your house, please Clem." Violet would get on her knees and beg at this point if she had to.

'I can't give in. She deserves to feel bad.' Clementine wanted to say no, but all that came out was, "Fine. You get ten minutes." She turned around and walked slow. Her legs felt weak and she felt empty. All she wanted was to lay down and not wake up from sleeping. She never felt like this, and that's when she figured out why she was hurting so badly.

Love.

She had fallen in love with Violet... hard. Clementine waited out by Violet's car to see the blonde quickly emerge from the house, fumbling her keys. Clementine stood in front of the driver's door and held out her hand. "Give me the fucking keys. You are too drunk." No matter how pissed she was, Violet's safety was priority.

Violet quickly complied and placed the keys in Clementine's hand, making sure to not touch her. She didn't want to worsen the situation.

It was a silent drive back to Clementine's place. Violet was shaking her leg nervously and refused to look at the fuming brunette. They silently made their way up to her room, being sure to not wake anyone in the process. Violet shut her door behind herself and watched as Clementine sat down on the bed. Their eyes finally met and Violet could tell that Clementine wanted answers.

"I went to get a drink, Minerva was over there. She stopped me and started explaining why everything happened the way it did. Her parents were going to make them move or some shit because of her sexuality." Violet was trying to explain without fumbling over her words.

"Slow down." Clementine said, a bit of a demanding tone spiking near the end of her words.

"She told me she was going to become a soldier and that she wanted us to watch out for Sophie and Tenn. Then she hugged me and I told her that was a fucking horrible idea." Violet paused. "Then I promised her we would, and she kissed me." Violet hung her head in shame.

"And you let her."

Tears were flowing between the two of them now. "Yes..."

Clementine let out a chuckle as she fell back on her bed. "You betrayed me, Vi. How am I supposed to forgive you." Clementine felt the bed sink next to her and sat back up. Violet was now sitting next to her and was fidgeting with shaky hands.

"You don't have any reason to. I fucked up, and I know I did." Violet took responsibility for what happened.

Clementine leaned forward and placed her face in her hands. "But why do I want to? Why after all of this can I not shake this feeling. I love you Violet Adlon, and I don't think I ever will shake that feeling." Clementine admitted. "All I want is to be with you, and I understand why you did what you did, but fuck... it hurts so bad."

Violet looked surprised at her response. She wrapped her arms around the crying girl and allowed her to cry into her chest. "I'm so sorry..." She apologized, and knew that she would apologize til the day she died if she had to. "Unbelievably sorry." She whispered as she rubbed circles on the girls back.

Regret

{ Short lil chapter, sorry for the length. I only got 4 hours of sleep so I'm on the brink of immense death. }