Examine

twenty-six

ASHLEY

I'm back at the room before I know it, changed to resemble something other than a hospital employee. But my mind isn't on my clothes, it's on how calm and caring Michael looks as he smiles down at Isla.

"Thank you," Isla says. "I wasn't ready at the time, but I did get help. And now I'm with the love of my life. That's not to say it isn't tough, or I don't act like a raging bitch or a whiny toddler. But Sam and I both understand, and –"

I should not be listening to this.

Isla's gaze flitters to me frozen near the precipice of the room. "You don't have to wait outside Ashley, I'm not telling Michael anything confidential."

I still feel like an intruder. She's being so open and honest with him, and I completely misjudged her intentions.

I feel like this is my second strike. First Dad, then Isla. Why do I still expect people to be moulds of their past selves as if they haven't learnt anything in the years preceding?

Suddenly I realise why I'd judged them so harshly. It's because the whole time I'd also been condemning myself. It's hard to believe in the good in others if you don't believe in the good in yourself.

No one's all bad. Not even me.

Nor all good.

Just perfectly flawed.

I enter the room, taking her words at face value, appreciating how kind she's being to Michael.

"And we make it work," Isla continues. "It takes a lot of work," she adds with a wry smile, "but I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in the world."

My eyes meet Michael's right at that moment, and the corners of his mouth lift.

"I understand," he answers. His deep voice sends a wave of desire through my body. There's a vibrating, humming energy inside me.

"I better go," Isla says, "I've kept Sam waiting long enough, and he's the invalid." Her pealing laughter tinkles in the air.

And instead of trying to squash the jealousy, I transform it, admiring her beautiful sounding laughter for what it represents; more joy in the world. We say goodbye, and her petite figure flits from the room.

And then it's just Michael and I. "Walk with me?" he asks.

"Okay," I fall into step beside him as we walk out of the hospital.

"I talked to Jack."

My heart stalls in my chest, before rallying and continuing to beat. I can't help reaching out to touch his forearm, impressing the importance of my words there. "Is he okay?"

"I wouldn't say that. He's in full on denial mode and about to start another movie. I think he's just using it as a distraction, trying to repress his feelings, but he sounds excited about it."

"That's good. Sort of?"

"I also told him about my feelings for you, and that if you felt the same, I wanted us to date."

"Were you asking for permission?" I ask, curious about how that conversation went down. Kind of glad that Michael did the talking for me. Although I doubt that Jack would have let me in the room to speak.

"No, but he's my brother. He deserves a heads up. And to not feel like he's going crazy, because he was 100 per cent right about my feelings for you." Michael sighs. "But my feelings for you didn't stop him from dating you four years ago. He's not going to be a hypocrite about it now."