29. knock knock

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29. knock knock

 knock knock

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"Knock knock."

"Fuck off."

"No, you see, the line is actually to ask 'who's there?'. Let's try again. Knock knock."

"Die in a fire."

"Knock knock."

"Trip into an endless chasm."

"Knock knock."

"Choke on a box worth of splinters."

"How big a box are we talking?"

"Your coffin would be jealous."

"Ouch."

"Drown in dog piss."

"Okay, I didn't even say 'knock knock' that time, and— wait, what the fuck? Dog piss?"

"Oh, would you look at the time? I'm late for school."

"It's... it's two in the morning?"

"Yes. Very late. Gotta go immediately."

"To the School of Shameless Lying and Hidden Emotions?"

"Yep. That's the one. Excellent facilities."

"I hear their students are exceptional at avoiding conversations of conflict."

"Oh, the best. World-renowned, honestly."

"I have a message for one of the students. Her name's Nessa? Think you could pass it for me?"

"Perhaps I could spare the time in my busy schedule of not conversing with you. What is it?"

"Tell her I miss her, will you? A lot."

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ITS BEEN A WHILE HI!! IGCSE students know the current struggle :(((

The warmest welcome to all the 2k new reads I've somehow gotten??? You guys are honestly amazing I hope my writing doesn't disappoint you <3

do you guys have any idea how many different ways i tried to google 'ways to wish death on someone'? none of them yielded good results so all insults displayed in this chapter apart from 'fuck off' and 'die in a fire' were created by yours truly.

pretty good ammirite ;) anyways here's my search history:

'ways to wish painful pain on someone'

'ways to wish death on someone... funny'

'funny death wish hahah'

'ways to tell someone to fuck off?'

and finally...

'top 10 best ways to instruct someone to die'

i wish i was joking.

Don't forget to vote!

xoxo, Sierra

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