I fling my clothes on not even checking anything matches. I grab what I can and throw it into a large holdall. Shannon can forward the rest to me or he can bin it, if Jay doesn't first. I'm on the verge of losing it, freaking out at us being so stupid, but then freaking out because we haven't done anything wrong to be fair. Ok its frowned upon for staff to date but we are grown adults and the works still all gotten done. Aaaaaaaah. Wheres my goddamn passport. And then I remember its at the reception desk . Goddamn security protocols. Everyones is there and I will need to get it on the way out. Huh. I flop down on the bed...the way out. The way out where Jessica. What the fuck am I actually doing. I ponder this for a moment or two till I hear the arguing resume along the corridor and it's enough to kickstart me back on the move. I leave shannon a short note on the bed saying I'm sorry, that I love him but his job is more important and I won't be the reason the band suffers. I ask him to tell Jay I'm sorry and that I love him too. That they have to get on with the tour and not argue. I leave it on the pillow next to his phone so he will find it. I head down to reception and noones about thankfully. I get my passport and explain that the rest of the band and crew are carrying on as normal so not to bother them as they have to rest. I head off not with a clue as to where I'm going or what I'm doing. My hearts breaking but I keep going and manage to do so with a straight face at the minute but I know I can't keep it up much longer and I don't know if I will stop once I start.
Back at the hotel........
"I don't give a flying fuck Jay, I'm gonna make sure shes okay, you can go to hell as far as I'm concerned. You can go from place to place fucking whoever or whatever and noone bats an eye lid, but I happen to fall for the wrong girl and you go apeshit. Not on. Band or no band I love this girl and im not about to lose her over your petty rules !!!!!" Shanon screams as he slams the door and heads back in to Jessica's room. The instant silence send a a shiver down his spine. He runs into the bathroom and the closet and shouts over and over but she never answers. He sees the lack of some of her stuff and the realisation hits him like a sucker punch to the gut. Shes gone........... he reaches for his phone only to see the note. He lifts it but is too scared to open it. Hes sitting clutching it tightly in his fingers as the tears start to fall. Hes overcome with panic and before he knows it hes full on sobbing. The keycard clicks in the lock and it breaks him from his daze lifting his head in hope but its only Jared . " what the fuck shannon who do you think you are talking to me like..." and he just stops and stares. " shan, dude your scaring me. What's happened." Everything that's just happened goes out the window when he sees his big brother so distressed. Hes the strong one, hes the one that always keeps him right. He can't recall a time when he has seen shannon cry and its scaring him. He sees the note crumpled in his hand and he sits beside him on the bed and takes it from him. " shan you need to slow your breathing down, please bro. Try for me." Jared opens the note and reads it and then he feels the prickling tingling feeling of the tears nipping at his own eyes. " shan I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was for real, I thought it was just a quick fling that might cause issues for you, for us even. I'm so sorry dude. Where will she have gone. Shit she doesn't know the area." He glances to the side and Shannon's sitting, head in his hands not listening to a word that's been said. The sobbing has stopped and hes just numb. It breaks jareds heart and he just can't stand to see him like this. He reassures shannon he isn't going anywhere, that hes just going to call a few folk. The bathroom door is just ajar to keep an eye on shan as he dials her number. It rings and rings and goes to voicemail. " fuck!!! Jessica please answer....call me back please" Over and over it goes to voicemail...." I'm so sorry jess. Your my best friend, I love you and would never hurt you or shannon on purpose,I'm sorry.please just call me or call him we need to know you are safe " ......... ......... .....
Somewhere in the next town....
I see the light flashing constantly in my bag as the messages get left and the calls get missed. It's on silent and it can stay like that. I don't need anyone hassling me or guilting me into going back. My hearts broken in two thinking how I just walked away. Shannon must hate me, but I had to save him and Jared's bond, stop them from arguing, stop it affecting the band. Even if it did kill me in the process. I reach in my bag for a tissue and can't help but see my phone. The screensaver makes me cry even harder. It's a beautiful sunset on the beach the first night shannon and I got time on our own. I hadn't wanted to risk it with the pic we took of ourselves there, as beautiful as it was so I had this memory every day instead without awkward questions from Jared. I switched to my gallery and flicked through the beautiful pictures of my beautiful drummer. God why did this hurt so much .
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I swallowed hard, took a deep breath and put my phone back in the bag avoiding the voicemails and texts. I had to get some rest before I tried to travel tomorrow. ............. ......... At the hotel........
" Jay Jay give me your phone" shannon suddenly screams and I just about jump off the couch. "What the fuck man. Calm down." "Your phone Jared now!" He orders. I unlock it and give him it. He goes straight for the find my phone app. " you give all your staff a phone right. I'm guessing they will be covered by this seen as u r an antisocial freak that likes to know where they all are at all times. So that means jess will be on here. Huh? Please tell me yes jay" " fuck man your a genius ....yeah shes my pa of course I have it on her phone. Give me it and i will see if it's on." A few minutes of clicking and he jumps up " bingo. Shes in a hotel in the next town bro. Lets go. C'mon I'll grab a cab". "Jay I love you man and I appreciate it but I gotta do this myself ....please. I promise I will call you but I gotta see her without any added stress , please." I gotta let him do this so I call him a cab and watch helpless as he heads off to try and stop his world from ending..... ......
