The phone wont stop. Ringing, notifications, ringing. If its not mine its shannons. " I put the pillow over my head to block out the noise. Its gently plucked from me and replaced with a smiling kiss instead. He cant stop chuckling at me. " babe what do u expect. We have basically ignored everyone for the last 10 hours or more. They are frantic. I'm gonna have to drop Jay a text at least so they back off. They just need to know one of us hasn't killed the other one haha" he says as he grabs his phone and disconnects the charger cable.
" aah I know I feel kinda bad but we needed peace to sort it out but shan I've even had a missed call from your mom. Shes gonna hate me isn't she. I've been Jay's PA for how long and now this." I slump my head back on the bed and he jumps over from his side and pulls the covers off. " WOAH THERE MISSY my mom adores you and you know it . Why would that change now. I never told you before but she knew I'd been crushing on you for years so she gonna be over the freaking moon trust me."
I'm full on blushing now and he just laughs . " everyone gonna be weird now ain't they. I hope they dont feel any different to me. Shit I might not even have a job. What am I saying. I need to see Jay. Dammit" I jump out the bed and head for the shower locking the door behind me as we will never get organised if shannon gets in here with me. I quickly wash and dress and I unlock the door while I sort my hair at the mirror. He sneaks up behind me and slides his arms around my waist and peppers kisses down my neck. " I'm so glad I caught up with u little bit. I'd have gone stir crazy if Ithought I wouldn't see you again. Your in my heart now and theres no room for anyone else only you so please dont run off again."
Hes so genuine when he says it theres no way you couldn't believe him. I return the compliment as theres no way I could ever be without him now. I know that for sure and whatever consequences come of that so be it . Its deep breath and big girl pants time now as we head off to meet up with Jay. I've asked shan if he minds if I speak to him alone. Apart from working for him for years hes my best friend in the world and I feel I have let him down. Speaking to him one on one will give me a chance to make sure hes okay. Shannon understands and drops me at the bands hotel alone. I head on up to my old room and pause outside the door. Taking a deep breath I keep on walking till I reach Jay's room 2 doors down. I chap gently on the door. I feel like a naughty kid outside the principals office if I'm honest. Shayla opens the door and squeals. She launches at me and squeezes the life out of me. " fuck shay miss me much" I laugh. She pulls me in and hugs me again grinning from ear to ear. Jay's on the phone in the adjoining bedroom but clocks me and smiles towards me so genuine I let out a huge sigh, not even aware I'd been holding my breath. He finishes up his conversation and Shay excuses herself. He comes into the room and seems nervous which is not him. Hes my boss for one and my best friend in the world yet there's an awkwardness between us. He is blushing when he sits down and pats the chair beside him. I sit down and he finally eyeballs me. "Everything with shannon aside, jess, am I that sucky a boss and friend that you bail on me the first time a bit of stress happens. I didnt know what to think when I found shannon. He couldn't speak. He just kept staring at that note and then the tears came. I wasnt far behind him when I realised you were gone and that it was all my fault" .
Hes picking at the bed covers and wont look at me. Ita very rare to see Jay flustered hes always so in control or at least uses his acting skills to appear that way.
"I'd never have forgiven myself if I was the reason you left us all jess. I'm so sorry I ever made you feel you had to choose . We set those stupid rules to stop random flings with staff causing problems but I never realised how much you guys really love each other and I'm sorry I ever thought you would cause problems. Even as my friend I should've known better. Your work has never faltered and yet you managed to keep this huge secret. I'm gobsmacked shannon didnt fuck up cos he looks like he wants to shout it to the world if the will listen. "
I take his long slim fingers in my hand and kiss them gently. " Jay your my best friend I the whole world and I'm sorry we went behind your back. It kinda took us both by surprise and we didnt want to jinx anything bu being open to everyone incase it was nothing. I would never jeopardise my friendship with you or shannon or my job if it wasnt important. I really truly love him Jay. I hope you can see that now and accept it. I was so terrified when I left the other night as I was losing you all and it just broke my heart".
Now hes crying , I'm crying and its not a pretty sight. He pulls me in for a hug and I feel safe in his embrace. My go to guy, my best friend. His hold is so different from his brothers. Hes so slim and lean with muscles and smells so clean like soap. Its.not a sexual thing it's a loving thing. I could snuggle up if I was sad or worried and I would feel safe. I get that with shan too but hes so broad and muscley and warm and smells so goddamn fuckin sexy and my brain and my loins turn to mush to be fair. All sensible rational thought goes out the window.
"So..." he says and burst out laughing......" have you sorted out my schedule and emails for next week yet".
" I guess my jobs safe then nutter." I laugh back at him. " of course jess so you better tell shannon to stop biting his nails in the jeep and come in cos I need him to have fingers left for drumming hes kinda good at it. "
I laugh as I throw back the comment " that's not all his fingers are good at babyjay" as I leave the room watching him go bright red. "Aaaaaah gaaaaah not what I want to know about my big brother jess. C'mon man seriously. Just get shannon and we will go for dinner all three of us ok"
" no probs bossman" I shout back and I skip down to get my drummer boy.
