A Day Just for Us

A Day Just for Us - Part 4 (MJJ Imagine No. 20)

After several minutes he leans back in the chair and tells you, "I don't take that kiss lightly and I don't throw it around. I've only kissed three other women like that in my life. Two broke my heart and on some level I may have broken one but it's hard to tell with her. I know I definitely ruined our relationship."

"May I ask who? I'm pretty sure I know who two are but the third I have no idea."

"The first woman is the one who taught me how to kiss, how to hold a woman, how to touch a woman. I wasn't shy with her because she knew me. She's the first woman I ever fell in love with and the first woman who ever hurt me. Diana. I was young, impressionable, enamored of her. She led me on then the next thing I know she's getting married. And then there was Lisa. Lisa brought out a whole different side of me. I loved Lisa with everything. We were in love; we were in our own little world; we couldn't keep our hands off each other. It was intense. I loved hard and I fell hard. The pain cut deep. Debbie gave me her all and two precious gifts. I loved her for many years as my friend, my confidante. Debbie and I married so Prince wouldn't be born out of wedlock, but during her pregnancy we did fall in love. We consummated that marriage out of love more than once despite what you may have heard. We wanted more children together, but we both knew the love we had was different than the love Lisa and I had. Debbie was too soon after Lisa. I needed to get Lisa out of my system. It took four years to do that and that meant cheating on Debbie with Lisa. I'll always regret doing that to Debbie. I know she wanted more, but I wasn't able to give her more because I was still hung up on Lisa and we still needed each other physically. I know I broke Debbie's heart but I don't know if I did to her what Diana and Lisa did to me. We ended our marriage cordially because we both knew it wasn't meant to be. We continue to be friends and she's never acted like I acted when I was hurting. Debbie's a strong woman and I admire that in her."

He takes a deep breath then continues. "In thirty years, I've only kissed the four of you like that. I've had other girlfriends, some were for short periods of time and some were a year or two. But it was always a trust factor. Between Diana and Lisa, I didn't have many girlfriends. I was too busy. I didn't trust women. I pursued Lisa because she didn't need my money so I could trust her. I really fell hard with her. I knew Debbie for years and she wanted to give me children with no strings attached, but we did move beyond friends. I could trust her. After Debbie and Lisa there has only been one girlfriend. I was busy again; I had a new family. She and I only lasted a year. Like Debbie, she's a great girl and she'll be a great wife and mother when she finds that right man, but I just couldn't see a future with her."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"I did. I'm not going to lie to you. The sex was good but it was missing something. I couldn't kiss her like I kissed you and that meant I couldn't really give her everything when we made love. I couldn't make love to her like I made love to Lisa. Even Debbie got more of me when we made love."

"Were you using her for sex?"

"No. We enjoyed each other's company; we enjoyed talking about different things; we had fun." He pauses for a few moments. "Maybe being together was convenient for both of us; maybe we were using each other for sex. Whatever it was, it was mutual and we both wanted it."

"What happened when you broke up?"

"It was hard on both of us. We did run back to each other a couple times but it wasn't the same and we felt it and knew it. There was never that feeling of 'I need her here with me' or 'I feel lost without her.' I wasn't attached to her like I was to Diana and Lisa. We talked several times afterward and she felt the same way. She had been hurt like I was. Maybe we were just enjoying our time together and not allowing ourselves to become attached."