I personally feel like I don't have, or even own a personal space anymore. As I step into adulthood, I realize there are so many things that weren't really matter back then when I was younger has become something that I truly treasure now. The easiest is fifteen minutes or ten minutes short nap. I used to hate it when I was in my young adolescence, but now when I got the chance, it is something really worthy. Funny, isn't it? As I (and probably you too) experience what it is to be young adult and slowly step into adulthood, we want back the things we used to hate when we were younger.
Lately, I haven't got any time to enjoy myself, to engage with myself, a 'me time' as nowadays youngster call it. I love routines and schedules, but I realize the nervousness and excitement I used to feel when I got ready for my first day of uni isn't there anymore. The other thing is I feel like I have no space just for me and myself to speak and open up to each other. Sometimes an extrovert needs to have deep conversations too. Alone. It feels like wherever I go, there's always people or other things that follow and drag me to stick with them for 24/7, and sadly, I can't escape it. Routines tie me so damn tight. 24 hours a day isn't enough. To be honest, I feel mentally attacked. My inner peace has gone slowly as I grow older. More responsibilities, more pressures, more adventures, more this and that. I'm not nagging about what I got for now or what my parents provide me with, I'm grateful for all of it, I just feel empty and soulless sometimes, by that I mean mentally drain. Guess there's always something we need to sacrifice. I need that space to engage and share deep conversations with myself again, I need to feel like myself again. But guess I can't have it any time soon.
Adulthood. A new big step in life that eventually I will live in. I don't know if I ever be ready for it, but every birthday in years to come seems scary. I don't know what to expect for the future. A new excitement, but frightening at the same time. I hope I, myself, and you, will be ready for it. I, myself, hope we may find and get back to the inner peace within ourselves. May the universe guide us home.
