I have to admit that it's hard and happy feeling for finishing my education in university. There's a huge relief feeling that all of the tortures, assignments, tests, annoying lecturers (but will be missed, though), and final tests actually come to an end. There's also this big black hole that constantly sits in my mind tightly and repeating those two words, "now, what?"
"What will you do after graduating?", ten seconds later it shall ask, "full time or freelancing?", then, "will your parents be satisfied with your choice? Will they be satisfied for throwing their money to educate you and the worst thing is you never able to repay them with your money?", then grandpa said, "it's easy for you to survive, just find a wealthy man and marry him."
That last shit makes me mad. Super mad.
I am also sure that lot of fresh graduates may be on the same stage as mine. We are confused to make decisions which are not easy to decide. It's part of deciding for your future life from now on. Plus, it's super hard to open parents' mind, trust me, I've tried my fucking ass off to assure them with my 'temporary' decisions and plans. I failed. Mom is in level super hard to discuss with. I get insecure when others start asking about what will I do next, where are my other friends work, how much are their salary, and other shits that I care for. I mean, those make my brain hurts. My closest friends think that it's totally normal to be on my stage and it makes sense for me to take things easy as I'm officially graduating on December. Couple of months to take a break and relax from my hard works for three and half years of studying. I understand what they meant, but I also feel insecure (read: desperate) inside. One day after graduating, what should I do?
Desperately hopeful, may we find the best ways for the future ahead. May we make the right decisions for the future. Also, marriage is not a solution, don't trust that shit.
