Not (just) A Love Story - BTS | JJK

Chapter 31

"But its five hours away."

He felt her get stiff in his arms. She slowly backed away from his hug and stood up straight, while he sat in the chair looking up at her.

"Five hours?"

Her voice was barely audible and he felt the world fall silent at this.

While he contemplated on what to say next, she said, "That's okay. You should go."

Putting on a weak smile, she nodded her head. As he watched, she walked away, occupied her previous position and started working on the sandwich.

She looked up and saw him stare at her.

"Eat now or it will get cold, she said pointing at his sandwich."

"I have to give him an answer by midnight. I wanted to discuss with you first before I took any decision." He said in one breath.

Watching her sit quietly worried him. She was thinking something but wasn't saying it. And this was bad.

'You knew this would happen someday. He must move on in his life Amelia. He can't stay with you forever.'

I know.

'You are toxic. Everyone leaves you. You know that.'

Mm.

'So, this shouldn't be news to you.'

...

'People get what they deserve, and this is what you deserve. Being alone forever.'

...

'No matter what you try to accomplish in this thing you call as your life, you are still that fat 13-year-old girl whom no one ever liked.'

"Aami?" she was brought back to reality upon his call.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her. She stared at him for a second and said, "Nothing." She shook her head forcing a smile.

She said, "Jungoo, you don't have to ask my permission."

"I'm not asking your permission. I'm asking your opinion. I want to know how you feel about this."

"I think you should take it. Honestly," she said nodding her head.

Without breaking eye contact, he asked, "Then what about us?"

"What about us?" she answered his question with another question that left him irritated.

"About us Aami! How will we make this work?" he gestured towards either of them as he said.

A painful smile adorned her face as she said, "You knew this wouldn't last. I did tell you before, didn't I? We may not even remain friends in future. Remember?"

Jungkook clutched his hand into a fist as he breathed out, listening to her speak.

"Besides, you are getting something amazing here. Stay here with me and you'll lose a good life. You'll be downtrodden. "

She stood up from her chair. Unlike he expected, instead of leaving to her room, she walked towards him. He watched her kneel beside his chair.

In a low voice she said, "But you deserve so much better Jungoo. You deserve a much better life. You deserve someone much better, much better than me."

She lowered her head, eyes on the floor. Feeling congested, he breathed in short and quick. And then he said, "I'm so angry at you Aami."

Clenching his jaws and trying to control the explosion inside him, he continued, "I'm trying so hard to help you here, to be with you. Why are you doing this to me? To us?"

She looked away and refused to meet his eyes.

"You can't be this selfish."

She sat silently listening to him.

"You have hurt me Aami. A lot..."

Though these were his words, he felt a pang in his chest. He tried not to feel sympathy for the girl sitting on the floor, her face clealry tensing up and relaxing, over and over. She was trying her best not to cry. She said, "I know...I'm sorry."

Though she wasn't crying aloud on the outside, her wet cheeks suggested otherwise.

He swiftly got down from his chair and sat in front of her on his knees, embracing her in his arms. He said, "You have to stop running away from everyone you have feelings for in fear of being hurt again."

He felt her cover her face with her hands, still enclosed within the protective circle of his arms.

Feeling her move he loosened the grip around her. She suddenly hugged him back, his back hitting against the wall behind him.

"I didn't want to hurt you. Ever. I'm sorry I'm doing this. I'm so toxic... I'm so wrong for you..."

Her stifled voice spoke to him while her hands grabbed tight on the fabric of his white tee.

He shifted his arms around her to make her feel more comfortable. The hug felt tighter but also more like two pieces of puzzle fitting together perfectly.

Amidst her muffled cries he made sure that she heard what he said next.

"Aami...You are one of the strongest people I have ever met in my life. You are not weak. You are very brave..."

He felt her shake her head saying no.

"Yes! And you need to understand that, believe that."

The thin arms around his shoulders tightened and he himself tightened his one arm around her waist while the other rubbed circles on her back, patting occasionally.