The Love Box

Chapter 14

“What’s wrong?” I asked Courtney again after she sat down beside me.

“Everything,” She replied; then she sighed and closed her eyes.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked her; she didn’t make sense. How could everything be wrong?

“Do you ever feel like everything you’ve been told is a lie?” Courtney asked me as she kept her eyes closed.

Yes, I thought, but I said, “No I haven’t.”

“Something’s wrong here,” Courtney told me. “I see it every time I looked at Nicki or one of her guards. Something is happening, and I know it’s not right.”

“So that’s why you’ve been depressed?” I asked her. “That’s the only reason?”

Courtney opened her eyes and turned to face me, “Yes, it’s the only reason.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said.

“I’m glad to say it,” Courtney replied; then she laughed.

It was the first time I had heard her laugh in a long time; her laugh reminded me of when we were younger, and I remembered us running around the halls together. She and I were once so close and now she was like a stranger; I didn’t really know her anymore.

“So what do you think is wrong?” I asked her even though I may have already known; I thought it was about the outside. Nicki didn’t like the idea of me knowing the subject yet; the outside was my best guess.

“I’m not sure,” Courtney said as she turned her head back in front of her; she stared at the other side and said, “I was hoping you could tell me.”

Courtney wanted me to tell her secrets; secrets that Nicki wouldn’t even approve of me knowing.

“I don’t know,” I half lied to her.

“How can you not know?” Courtney asked me; she quickly turned her head towards me again.

“I’ve only been taught how to use a computer,” I explained to Courtney, and I hadn’t really lied to her; it was the truth. “I haven’t been told information.”

Courtney sighed and looked back at the other side, “Can you tell me when you find out?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“I understand,” Courtney replied, but something about her tone told me she didn’t.

She probably wondered why I wouldn’t tell her what she wanted to know, but she didn’t know the whole story. I still thought Nicki was finding a reason to kill me, and I didn’t want the leak of knowledge I could give to Courtney to be the cause of my death.

I couldn’t do that for my mom or me.

Or Kai; I knew he didn’t want to see me, and I didn’t want to see him. That didn’t change my feelings for him; I knew that now. Love couldn’t be distinguished on command, not if it’s true love, and I believed I had that with Kai.

“I need to go,” Courtney said as she stood up. “I’ll see you later.” She said; Courtney was stoic once again.

I watched as Courtney left; then I leaned my head against the machine behind me, and I thought about what happened. Courtney’s problem wasn’t fixed; I wanted to fix it, but I couldn’t. She needed to understand that I didn’t know; even if I ever did, I could never tell her, and I was sorry for that.

Then I watched the other side, and I waited; I didn’t know what I waited for until I saw him. Kai entered the laundry room on his side, and he looked at me; then he quickly turned around and left the laundry room.