Our Lost Minds [Taekook] ✓

[Part 2]

The first time I refused him was when I was 12 years old.

I was starting to notice changes in my body that came to me little by little, together with my upcoming puberty. Honestly, there wasn't anything to big - just a hair here or there, where it wasn't before and similar kind of things. Yet somehow I found them embarrassing and weird.

So when Jungkook came to me before the bed, as usual, and asked when we were going to take a bath together, I said that we were not going to do that anymore.

I could see that feeling of being pained by my response through his round doeish eyes. He looked at me as if I had insulted him in the worst way I can.

And that was understandable. Almost everyday, since he and his mother moved into our house, we bathed, played and slept together. To be precise, he was always by my side and we did everything together. Ate, went to school, came back from school, spent breaks, went out to meet friends and all those things. I didn't find it strange to bring him together when I met with my friends - he was a quiet guy anyway. Also, I liked to show off that I am a good big brother.

On the other hand, my situation was understandable as well. I didn't really know what was going on with my body and I wasn't fond of the idea of showing it to someone else.

"Why?" He asked then, clenching the hem of his white shirt until his knuckles became white.

"Because only children do that. You're not a child, right?" I meekly explained, trying to convince him that it's not his fault.

Jungkook lowered his head, then sadly followed with a nod.

"C-can I at least sleep with you? Please?"

Oh god, how I wanted to tell him 'no'.

I couldn't. I couldn't refuse his pleading eyes, staring straight into my soul. I even started to feel guilty.

"For now, yes. But eventually we'll have to sleep separately anyways. We're not going to live under the same roof forever, you know."

It seemed to get Jungkook, rub him even more in the wrong way. It looked like he had heard the most shocking thing in his lifetime. He started turning pale and gulped in an unnatural way.

"W-why not? I want to live with you forever," he said quietly, just barely audible enough for me to hear.

"That's not possible, Kook. I will get a girlfriend, you will too. And then we will have to marry them, create families of our own. I don't think they would appreciate it if we lived together."

If I had to rate how much of an asshole I felt at that moment for saying it to Jungkook, I would need a scale which allows you to take numbers that are higher than it's maximum point. I felt like the biggest bully in the whole wide world. But I couldn't go back on my words.

Apparently, I didn't need to. The younger bit on his lower lip and brushed his teeth through it, visibly irritated. He tapped the finger on a door casing, then breathed out heavily.

"Okay, I understand," he answered surprising me with how easy it was to convince him.

Jungkook stood there for another minute, waiting for some kind of reaction from me, but I didn't want to worsen my situation, so I just sat on the corner of my bed with my mouth shut.

So he turned on his heel and stomped out of my room. He went out and never came back to me that night, even to sleep together.

'It is a good thing. That's how it should be,' I comforted myself that night, alone and secretly missing the warmth of another.