“Please, just go to sleep!”
I begged. I pleaded.
I’m a single mother working two jobs. I had Benny when I was 27. It was a few weeks after my wedding when I found out I was pregnant. My husband Scott and I were so excited. After many unsuccessful attempts, I was so happy to finally get pregnant.
I had a rather easy pregnancy, much like my mother. Scott and I read up on everything, took classes, and made sure we were more than prepared for bringing a life into this world. The day I gave birth to Benny was one of the happiest days of my life.
Benny was an active child from the moment we brought him home. He was attempting to talk long before he knew any words. He started walking right before his first birthday and after that he was unstoppable. Benny was a handful, but I loved him and wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I found out Scott was cheating on me about 10 months ago. My world was broken. I didn’t want to try to make it work. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I didn’t care for any of his excuses.
I decided it would be best for Scott to leave while I stayed in our home. I took up another job and was able to keep things afloat.
What comes with working two jobs and raising a son by yourself is a whole lot of sleep deprivation. I am always tired. But I won’t rest until Benny passes out. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t make sure my child was asleep and safe first?
I don’t have many friends, but from what I can see on my Facebook, the struggles of getting your child to fall asleep is shared by most. Why is this such a difficult thing to accomplish? I just want my baby boy to get to bed.
I put him in his crib with a toy and leave the room for a few minutes. By the time I return, he still isn’t asleep. He’s just sitting there, staring at me. I don’t want to force his eyes shut, but they just won’t close.
He hasn't grown in atleast a year. It doesn't bother me. I need him to develop at his own pace.
I know what you’re going to say. I should read him a story. I’d prefer not to. The room reeks of copper from moment you enter it. I haven’t bathed Benny in months. He’s at that point now where if I scrub the skin is going to start to come off.
A few weeks ago I sat him out on his play carpet and his neck fell backwards. There isn’t enough time in a day to sew it shut again. Benny’s going to have to learn to adjust.
Benny is generally a good kid. He doesn’t fuss, he doesn’t hit, he doesn’t cry. I’m happy to have raised such a good kid without Scott. Scott didn’t deserve to be a part of this. He thinks I’m crazy but I can do this all by myself. He needed to go.
Being a single mother has its hurdles. It’s exhausting. I know I do my best but sometimes I need a little help. So, please, if anyone can tell me:
How do I get Benny to go to sleep?
