Wishing you were somehow here

Chapter 8

Flashback:

‘We just stared into eachothers eyes, mesmerized. My mind kept telling me to stop it, my heart told me to kiss him. He leaned in and I didn’t stop him. My eyes closed and and our lips were just about to meet, but then……………’

End of flashback

‘No Harry’, I said.

‘No what?’, Harry said stopping to lean in and looked me in the eyes.

‘I can’t do this’, I said pushing him away from me standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

‘Do what?’, Harry said as he followed me.

‘THIS, US, EVERTHING’, I practically screamed.             

‘I’m sorry love I don’t quite understand what you mean.’

‘EXACTLY! Harry you need to realize I’m not like the other girls.’

‘What other girls?’, Harry said frowning his eyebrows.

‘ALL THE OTHER GIRLS YOU’VE SHAGGED, ALL YOUR ONE NIGHT STANDS, THOSE GIRLS! I have feelings Harry, you expect me to just sleep with you and then never hear from you again. I know it Harry, that’s how all the boys are these days. I’ve been through enough of drama with boys. So I don’t need this shit, okay?!’

‘Wow and I actually thought you were different. You’re the only girl for a long while who I thought saw the real me.’, he said kind of hurt.

‘What are you trying to say?’

‘It’s all an image. Me hooking up with girls, partying every day off, all the one night stands, it’s all an image the press has made up about me. Often when I get into a car with a girl after partying, it’s usually cause they piss drunk and can’t get home on their own. I drive them home to their place to make sure they get home safely. I’m not joking. I actually am a genuine guy, I care. I do like to party and so on, but I don’t do one night stands, it’s wrong. A girl deserves better than that. But since I haven’t been in a real relationship for ages, I have the image of the ‘player of the band’. There’s not much I can do about it. I’ve wanted to get into a relationship for a long time; I want to be as happy as Liam and Louis. I just haven’t found the right girl. And it’s hard to. Hard to find someone who likes me for me and not as ‘Harry Styles from One Direction’. Someone who can see the real me. I thought that could have been you. I guess I was wrong’, he said looking down at the floor.

I really did believe him, I could tell by his voice that he was telling the truth. And now I’ve upset him. Great! Just bloomin’ great Victoria. You’ve ruined it, just like you have with all the other boys.

‘Harry..’

‘Save it Victoria, I’ll just go’, Harry said.

‘Harry please’, I said trying to stop him but failed.

He grabbed his jacket and opened the door to find Melissa standing there just about to open the door. He went pushed past her and went down the stairs. Melissa stepped in and closed the door after her.

‘What got in to him?’, she said chocked.

‘Nothing he was just in a hurry’, I said not wanting to talk about what just happened.

‘Oh really? Then why are you just staring in front of you like you’ve just seen a ghost?´, she asked.

‘What? Oh never mind’, I said snapping out of my trance.

‘Anyway how was your date with Zayn?’, I asked.

‘It was wonderful! He took me to this cozy little Italian place near Trafalgar Square, we sat down and just ate and talked. It was amazing. And then he asked me to come to dinner with him on Saturday.’