Stripes can be Tamed

chapter 19: like a virgin part 2

Kurt

     It was so silent in the room after I told Blaine how I lost my virginity. We both just stared at each other. The look on his face seemed sympathetic and furious.

"Don't act so surprised Blaine. It's just sex that's all."

"It was your first time though...kurt I'm so sorry."

"Ughh! Like I said it's no big deal it was just meaningless sex like the kind you had that broke up our relationship. " I said smugly.

"Kurt for you sex was a big deal back then. You always talked about your first time being Romantic and with the one you love."

"Well shit changes. I was in love , but the guy I was with didn't."

"Kurt I did love you in high school. "

       That sentence alone was enough to make my blood boil immediately. How could he say that now after all these years? I begged him not to leave me and try to work it out with me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.  I could feel the anger building up inside me.

"I know I fucked up. I should have said it a long time ago. I was scared kurt, I didn't think it was okay to love anyone after stevie. "

"You bastard. " I put my beer down and headed for the front door.

"Baby wait!" Blaine grabbed my hand. I quickly took it back.

"So you actually loved me in high school?" I asked to clarify.

"Yes. Yes I loved you and I should've said something."

"You let me feel like shit the whole time. You made me feel ugly about myself the whole entire time. I was depressed a whole summer because of you! You fucking bastard!"

"Kurt I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Fuck you!"

     I opened the door and left quickly.  Thus whole time he kept this secret from me. I always wondered why he never loved me back then. I wanted to know for so long what stevie had that I didn't for him to love her and not me.

      Was he doing the same thing like he did before? Was this his way of trying to scare me off in to not being with him? I needed a drink fast.

.....................

Blaine

       I felt like I was looking at the door that closed forever. This was definitely the time to panic. This time I really screwed up. Hearing about how kurt lost his virginity crushed me, because it was my fault he didn't have a memorable moment. It wasn't with someone he loved.

       If it wasn't me I at least would have liked for it to have been with someone who cared for him. Someone who knew his body.

       I can't let this relationship be over. I worked hard to get him to even give me a chance to date him. The sex is amazing and all , but I want to make love with kurt. No rough quick sex . I want missionary so I can look into his eyes and see the love.

    This just can't be over.

......................

           Two days since kurt and I had our fight. I called and texted so many times my phone company may think I'm a stalker.  Today he finally answered and agreed to come over and talk.

         It was finally 8 the time he said he would be over. I waited patiently in the living room until I heard a knock. I sprinted from the couch to the door.