SORRY PLUTO [ JACK x ZACH ]

nine

the cold returned when he walked away from me.

i was reminded that i was just a lone dwarf planet,

orbiting the sun in a ruined path.

far,

far away from the others.

there has to be a meaning to why i was created so far back,

in the coldness of universe.

why did he walk away.

is it because i told him he was beautiful?

was it too confusing for a boy to complement the same gender?

was he disapproving?

i'm in too deep for him to disapprove of me.

sunday's never been more depressing.

writing is my distraction,

it makes me forget about everything going on outside of the music blasting in my eardrums and pencil scraping paper.

he makes me forget too.

i should've kept my thoughts to myself.

i'm so confused,

i want to forget everything,

i want to forget him,

the pain in my chest hurts too much for me to not act on it.

i have no way to cope.

i feel it all coming back,

the voices,

judgmental stares,

the coldness.

the pain,

the sorrow,

the forgetting,

the hoping. 

it's so empty in my room,

the atmosphere around me feels shallow.

i want to

e s c a p e.

but there's no escaping my own self.

(sadly.)

i wish for heat.

i want warmth.

i'm so

desperate.

but how would i treat warmth?

i'm just a ball of ice.

i'd melt.

i'd melt and there would no longer be a pluto,

no more pain,

it sounds nice if i'm being honest.

i wonder if he can see the pain behind my eyes.

metis, adrastea, amalthea, thebe,

four out of the ninety-eight moons of jupiter.

why can't i just be jupiter.(?)

why can't i feel warmth.(?)

i want to be happy.

i'm stuggling,

the room i'm sitting in is starting to turn cold,

i can't breathe.

let me breathe.

why can't i breathe.

how can i breathe.

i feel sweat dripping from my forehead,

my hand is shaking,

i'm struggling to write,

i feel the room closing on me,

i can't feel,

what is this?,

i can't feel myself.

i need someone to save me.

i want this to end.

i can't wr

~~~~~~~~

it's meant to end like that.

who do you guys think pluto is?