SORRY PLUTO [ JACK x ZACH ]

five

i've grown a liking to mars, and the reason i cannot seem to find.

maybe it's just the thought that one day we could possibly live there,

but not in my lifetime.

i'll be dead, my soul resting god knows where.

life's a mystery.

the thought of one day never being able to wake up scares me,

it always has.

just knowing one day you'll be lying on your bed,

(if you're lucky)

waiting for your passing.

it sends shivers up my spine.

but i know it's coming.

i think i'm spending more time mourning about my own death than living my own life.

it hurts.

it may be "relatable" to some people,

but it hurts.

it hurts so much.

and i can never leave my thoughts.

but saturn masks them.

he's the only person getting me through this depression.

i don't want to be forgotten,

but generations before me probably thought the same.

and do any of us know just one person who died in the year one thirty?

no one will remember us in three-thousand nineteen.

so why do we exist?

whatever.

i'll drown myself in these thoughts later.

saturn came up to me again. he told me that,

"i like your outfit."

saturn, what are you doing to me?

i probably blushed a crimson, "thank you, i like yours too."

saturn said that,

"the red on your shirt reminds me of roses."

i couldn't figure out if that was a complement.

"oh, well, everyone likes roses, right?"

idiot.

"yes! i love roses! they're so beautiful and smell amazing."

like a sunflower, he talked brightly, ranting about roses and nature.

i couldn't help but think of myself as a wilted rose, trying to be what it's classified as but just

wilted.

and everyone throws out a wilted rose.

i so badly wanted to tell him that he's beautiful, like a rose blooming on a rainy spring day, but i didn't find the urge to.

i should've.

i told him that, "you're super cool, y'know?"

he bit his lip,

don't do that again, i'll lose it.

"thanks. i don't really -- i'm not really noticed here."

we were sitting in the cafeteria, our normal spot.

"what?! how can you not get noticed! you're like -- the nicest human being i've met!" i exclaimed.

i hope he could say the exact same back to me.

but he was right, it is pretty cold far back here.

what's warmth again?

oh right, no warmth travels this far out into the universe.

sorry pluto.