Dangerous Letters

Chapter Eleven

Letter XXIII

November 12, 17--

Dear Madame de G--------,

I thank you with very great curtesy for your letter, and the advice enclosed therein. I am indebted for you advice on the matter that I wrote to you about and, again, thank you heartily for the sincerity and candour with which you directed me. As you predicted, I am now much clearer in the role of my position and would not, whatever rashness may be imputed to my actions or words, wish to behave in any way contrary to what is suitable for a governess of my station. You are, honoured Madam, undoubtably correct that someone from my background must struggle with the task of guiding a Marquis' daughter.

Forgive, Madam, my plainness; I should be loath to behave unbecomingly to my Master; but I must say that religion and virtue are so dear to me, that all other considerations often seem lesser when compared to moral goodness. No doubt, your response, as you lay out, would be that my master's rank and superiority are God-given and that it is foolish to challenge such a divine edict. I see that my pride has blinded me to this, in believing that I might have a better answer than him, and I assure you, Madam, I will see to that self-correction.

This, I promise faithfully, with gratitude for your continued benefaction. I should be delighted to receive Sermons aux Jeunes Femmes, and would happily convey its teachings to my pupil. I would, indeed, welcome all the material you further proposed and shall look into acquiring the selection.

But I have already taken too much of your time; so, I take my leave, and desire you will believe me, with the highest esteem,

Yours sincerely,

Charlotte B-----

Letter XXVI

November 14, 17--

To Mr. T—D------,

Be not alarmed, sir, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or suggestions of affection, which are clearly now so repellent to you.

I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes, which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten; and the effort which the formation and the perusal of must occasion should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice.

Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you letter has laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, I have spoken freely and often of an engagement; that I had, in defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humility, espoused numerous untruths to all I could reach within your circle, the latest of those being our mutual acquaintance Madam de G------- who resides close to your estate in L---. That I contacted her in hopes of wilfully spreading malicious lies and falsehoods, all to the detriment of your reputation and prospects.

Here, I must speak more boldly in my defence though it pains me to risk offending you further; if you think me false, so be it, but I never did more than inquire – in one letter alone – as to whether you currently reside at L--------- P---. My inquiry was not borne from malice but concern; my letters to you have not been returned, our correspondence halted so entirely that I feared something prevented you from replying – although I see now how foolish that assumption was. I do not say that I am blameless in this matter; perhaps asking M. de G--------- was poorly decided, but one sentence from you, reassuring me of your continued good health but ending our communication, would have been enough to settle the matter in my mind quite definitively.