Dangerous Letters

Chapter Twenty-Four

Letter XLIII

February 29, 17--

Dear Lady F----,

I did verily write you a long letter this morning, only to return to it to find it more indecipherable than usual! Please, therefore, forgive the shortness of this note for I will endeavour to curb my second effort that it does not take too much advantage of your ladyship's kindness in allowing our correspondence.

I hope that this letter finds you well and in good health? The last letter I sent was dated 27thJan; please forgive me if your ladyship has already sent a reply, I have not received much post these last months and so have grown concerned that the remoteness of my circumstances may be to blame. Otherwise, I hope that you have simply been too preoccupied to write – and it is not a more serious circumstance? I have kept you in my prayers and hope to hear assurances soon, providing that the transport between us does not fail.

Yours sincerely,

Charlotte B---

Letter XLIV

March 02, 17--

Dear Madam C-------,

I hope you received my last letter – I have had reason to suspect that the penny-postal system of my home is not always wholly dependable and I write this letter in hopes of making amends if you have not received the last I sent.

I very much look forward to hearing from you, Madam, and hope that you are in good health? Likewise, may I inquire after your family and your daughter's situation in B---- with her new in-laws? I apologise for not writing again sooner; I had some adjustment to my present circumstances as governess and, after Christmas, I succumbed to an illness of fever and fatigue (which I am quite recovered from now). I did not once forget your goodness, nor our continuing friendship, however and I humbly await your reply as soon as you are able.

Yours sincerely,

Charlotte B---

Letter XLVI

March 03, 17--

Dearest Hannah,

Have you received my last few letters? I have had no reply; which has led me to the conclusion – unless I am mistaken – that my post has been waylaid. I still await news from you, and most eagerly too, and have been to town today to purchase the necessary ink and paper that I might be well-fortified and able to respond as soon as I might.

Villette and I spent a day in town which was a pleasant affair, as my pupil was quite taken with the new styles of fabrics in the dress shops – simpler than what she had sampled in P----, and yet she looked over all of it with delight. She ended up with a smock of fine white silk gauze, edged with embroidery, from the finest tailor in this province. The smock has wide sleeves hanging half way down the arm and is closed at the neck with a pearl button; it will look very well paired with one of her antery waistcoats; she has several of white and gold damask, with very long sleeves falling back and fringed with deep gold (as is the current fashion) and diamond or pearl buttons. She said all this and more (there was so much talk of drawers and robes and girdles that you would forget that I was speaking to a young girl and not a seasoned lady of the court). It was in this shop that the little shop-woman asked Villette some question or other in relation to me. Villette answered, as politely as ever, and then added – to my surprise - "her name is Charlotte. She is like a mama for me." I felt such warmth at the unexpected declaration, that I clasped her hand and pressed it with tight affection.

It was only when we were outside the shop, once the dress had been packed in layers of tissue paper and prettily boxed, that I realised my error in judgement. I ought to have reminded her that I am, though her assigned guardian, also employed in her service. She knows that I will be leaving at Easter, but not that I have plans to not return. Her father asked me to swear I would not say anything as of yet. I also know that he means to quit the chateau she has known all of her life, and that my darling girl may be sent away to live and be taught by strangers who shall surely find her peculiar for she is such an oddity even to those who adore her. I am, in part, the cause of that decision. How then could I destroy her present happiness? How could I tell her she must not think of me as a mother? So I did not say any of what I should have. As we walked down the road, I stopped and gathered the small creature into my arms and hugged her fiercely. She complained that I was rumpling her dress, but returned the gesture. I do not know how I will bear to cause her such distress. Pray, Hannah, what say you to this? Am I cruel to act so?

I might have fretted about this for the rest of the day, if something else had not happened to induce a rival concern. I thought to spoil Villette, to assuage my guilt I suppose, and we had a very rich tea in the late afternoon. Then, after stopping at a confectionary shop for lemon drops, we were returning to the hackney that had brought us down, when we were suddenly accosted! It was by Ms. Pennyworth, chaperon to the woman who forsook my master. I was, at equal turns, furious and astonished, especially as she railed and yelled at both myself and my ward with red cheeks and a temperament that was verging on violence. "Madam," I said, "please contain yourself and remember where you are and whom you address. You are in the presence of a Marquis' daughter."

She said something very concerningly rude to that point and so I asked the footman to take Villette to the hackney. My ward did not wish to go, but when I pointed out to her that her shopping might be in danger of Ms. Pennyworth's strange wrath and gesticulations, she allowed herself to be bundled inside.

"Your mistress has shamed us all," I told the English woman.

"Pah, it's your Master who brings the shame! My poor mistress, my beautiful girl. Where is she? Tell me where she is!"

And so she went on until I felt myself becoming more piteous of her condition that angered.

I tried a number of times to explain to her that her the Lady had left the continent and returned home, but she would not hear of it: "I have had word from her home, they have no seen her."

"That is troubling," I said, for though her mistress had done my Master a great injustice, I would never wish to see her harmed. "I shall tell my Master and he will look into it at once, and do all in his power to ensure that she is safe if that is indeed true."

"Foolish chit," she yelled, "it is your Master who is responsible! Her Ladyship did not leave his estate..."

We were drawing a crowd of spectators and, remembering that I represented a gentry household, I took to the vehicle as well with a final reassurance that my Master is an honourable man who would set an injustice to his former bride right.

"Madam," said Villette to Ms. Pennyworth, very earnestly as we were about to drive away. "Would you like a lemon drop?" And she proffered the bag to the outraged woman through the window with a squeal of laughter.

"Villette," I chided, once we had departed to the main road that winds upwards to the castle, "Ms. Pennyworth was distressed, and that was a very mean-spirited thing to do. I know that you did not mean to, but we must always be cautious to exercise kindness under all circumstances."

Villette sucked on one of her sweets and made a face at its sourness. I repeated myself but, as usual, if she did not want to learn the lesson, she refused to hear it.

"That was all very exciting," she said, when she finally spoke. "I would like it if Ms. Pennyworth came to visit us again, wouldn't you?"

"I very much doubt we will see Ms. Pennyworth again," I said, though I fear that may have been a lie. "Now, please put those sweets away and don't ruin your appetite any further."

This warning was in vain, and she has been put to sleep without further dining. I also skipped the final meal of the day, though that was in part because the Marquis is apparently preoccupied, and I am now so used to his company at the later meal that I find it tedious to eat alone. Given its urgency, I have left word with Madam L--- as to Ms. Pennyworth's concern for her mistress although, of course, I tempered her tone in my retelling. I'm not sure precisely why, but I would have liked to see the Master's reaction to hearing it for myself. But I forget my place.

Are you well, dear Hannah? Sometimes I can scarcely believe it has been months since we last spoke, and at other times it seems a great deal longer.

With all my love,

Charlotte